The word intimacy is used in a myriad of ways, although “intimacy” is mostly used instead of saying sex. “We were intimate last night”, “I want to be intimate with you”
We can all benefit learning ways to build intimacy for better sex
Just because you are naked and physically intimate does not mean that you are intimate on all levels. In fact, physical intimacy is not actually real intimacy unless it’s accompanied by emotional intimacy. If you have emotional intimacy then your sexual connection will heighten and continue to build and evolve.
For those of you who’ve been with your partner/husband for years, then I suggest you make an effort to reconnect on an emotional level first, the physical then tends to follow.
In a nutshell, sex is not “INTIMACY”, sex without intimacy is sex, it’s intercourse, and for many can be largely unfulfilling, even for men.
Your boyfriend or husband is no different to you, they want to love and be loved, so start loving him and connecting with him more outside of the bedroom… the emotional intimacy will start to build and so will your passion.
Here are 4 Tips to get you started:
1. Love and connect from your heart:
Intimacy starts within you and as a whole women have become tougher, more and more independent, and a lot of woman lack femininity. That said, some women are push over’s, don’t speak up and have no solid boundaries. Both of these ways of being hinder intimacy and therefore affect your sex life.
Men love women who are warm, encouraging and confident and know how to connect and communicate from the heart. I suggest you learn how to soften and express yourself with your man in a loving way and you’ll probably see him open up more to you and want to be around you more.
Even if you have “stuff” to deal with in your relationship, don’t interrogate your guy or make him feel as though you’re ticking and crossing a checklist – talk to him nicely, tell him how you feel. Let him know what is important to you and also take responsibility for your “stuff”- men really appreciate this and NO ONE is infallible.
Also, seek to understand him first, before making him wrong – this is extremely important to build intimacy. Women are highly skilled and taking the high and mighty road, which shuts men down, kills sexual desire and scares them off.
Break the power struggle and listen to him – stop telling him why he does what he does. Let him tell you his perspective, how he feels, what he’s thinking, you can then work it out together – NOW that is one powerful aphrodisiac.
Heart connection allows for great sex.
Soften, love and connect from a place of love and heart…
2. Touch, smile, appreciate, compliment:
Couples forget to touch, couples forget to appreciate each other and most people take the good stuff in relationship for granted – they focus more on what they don’t like and they wonder why the passion has died.
Build appreciation and intimacy in a non-sexual way first, and you can do this in a loving and playful way. I courage you can do this by making a pledge:
I pledge to: not whinge, whine or comment in a negative way about ANYTHING he does (I am not talking about deal-breakers). No niggles, snide remarks, put-downs, sarcasm, no “I told you so’s” – instead be kind, and appreciative, be accepting and loving.
No person, be it man or woman wants to be around someone or open up to someone who they feel wronged by or they feel they cannot make happy.
If your man is essentially a good guy, then little by little you can change the way you relate and connect to him – in doing so you’ll create a sense of newness and inspired connection, which also heightens attraction and passion. For example; Walk past him and touch his back, if you are standing next to him touch his arm or teasingly smack his bottom, then smile and then walk away and do something else (like you didn’t do it). Mix it up and add these kinds of little gestures consistently.
If sex feels like an obligation then start doing the stuff that leads to sex… START BEING PLAYFUL and FIRTY with your man…
Interesting: The lies people in a long-term relationship tell themselves that kills the passion and their relationship
3. Create healthy space or gently move closer:
Each relationship is different, some couples spend lots of time together and others spend not so much time together.
If you spend pretty much every night and every weekend together then it may be time to mix it up a little. Do some things just for you. Yoga, dancing, seeing girlfriends, taking up a course in something… sometimes we need to create distance to create intimacy. It sounds a little strange although if you feel as though you’ve lost yourself in your relationship and the two you are joined at the hip and still lacking intimacy then changing this up can help greatly. And when you do spend time together have fun and do some new activities.
If you don’t spend a lot of time together then it’s time to make an effort to see each other more and make it playful and enjoyable. Have fun and do some different activities.
4. Having sex when you don’t feel like it:
Sometimes you’ve just got to “do it”! When we’re tired it seems easier to just go to sleep and put sex on the back-burner, particularly for couples with children.
The good news is that when most couples simply start sexing-it-up, they actually start getting into it and a new burst of energy fires up. Studies prove that the couples who make time for sex are happier and far better connected. Sure, this will not always apply though it’s something to certainly keep at the forefront.
So… make time for lovin’ and why not add in some new moves too 🙂 Sex is good for your relationship, your body and your hormones. (for those of you who are not enjoying sex, it might be time for some sex therapy or a tantra course).
For more specific intimacy and pleasure tips ==>>> check this out
Love well,
Nadine xx
Leave a Reply