Breakups suck. It’s that simple. They’re almost never easy, even if you were the one who left!
Breakups bring up so many different emotions and resulting outcomes, and you can choose how you want to move on. You can put your head in the sand or you can step up and out of the mess, and do so gracefully and triumphantly.
What I want for you is that you’re able to breakup in a healthy way, allowing you to have a future relationship that is better than you’ve ever experienced.
Firstly, you’ve got to sort out past hurt and pain so that you can get your love life rocking. Many people try to bury the past and unknowingly take their “stuff” into new relationships, and this is a huge contributing factor as to why 60% of people are not happy in their relationships.
To break up well it doesn’t matter if you’re:
- In a relationship and thinking about breaking up
- Recently broke up with someone
- Broke up a while ago and still feel hurt, sad, anger, rejected, not good enough, fearful…
- In a new relationship and your past is creating issues
Too many people believe that ‘time heals all’ and time does heal, to a point! After a relationship has ended, over time, most will get stronger and stronger and at the same time MOST do not properly learn from the relationship demise – they do not realise that the very relationship that was painful, unfulfilling, empty and overall unhealthy was a “GIFT” – that being; a beautiful and rich opportunity learn to relate, date and love better.
As a result of a breakup or a series of breakups people tend to:
- Emotionally shutdown due to their fear of getting hurt
- They take their issues into a new relationship and wonder why it’s no better than the last one.
- Stay in a place of blame by pointing the finger (and learn nothing of real value)
- They are over sensitive to certain behaviours and tend to block love
- Slow to connect and give someone else a chance or mixed signals
- Become needy and obsessive
- Overly reactive, over sensitive
No matter how crappy the relationship was, you can turn into something great. You cannot control how someone else deals with a breakup, although you can change how you deal with it and how you deal with them, “the ex”. YOU CAN make it easier and more pleasant for you or both of you (and your children too, that’s if you have any).
We all contribute to a relationship not working out. What have you learnt from your past relationships that you want to change for your future?
What insecurities, unhealthy behaviors, stories about men, yourself and love have you created in your mind?
You are 100% deserving of great love. And great love begins with you.
Be bold, be courageous and learn the golden lessons – even if they are painful, even if you feel ashamed, even if you don’t think you did anything wrong, you will shine and you will be free to love well – to experience the wonder of healthy love.
When you love you and you care enough about you, you’ll see the magic and beauty in the art of breaking up WELL.
May you release the past and love with your heart.
P.S. It’s easier than you might think.