Imagine that your best friends’ husband calls you to let you know that his wife, your best friend, has been in an accident. He tells you that even though she’s safe, she’s a bit rattled, and he thought that she would love to hear from you. So, what would you do? Text her or call her?
Now imagine that you really like a guy and he’s been regularly texting you for a number of days. You really love the messages, though rather than spending the next week texting, you’d love like to hear his voice and speak to him…
What would you do? Call him, or hope and pray he will finally call you (at some stage)?
In the first situation, you’d probably instantly call your girlfriend, or at least text her to ask her an appropriate time to call. BUT, in the second situation, most women would not call the man. Instead they’d become increasingly annoyed and question if he really likes her, or she won’t think anything of it and think it’s quite normal to never speak to someone you like.
This is crazy to me. What is happening to the human race?
Why would anyone rely on texting to keep his or her relationship and love life alive?
The reality is that 75% of the United States is texting. Even more are turning to social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook to communicate with others.
Of course, there are plenty of benefits to texting. You can send a quick message to let someone know that you’re running late or that you’re thinking of them, you can send a text to ask a quick question… perfect!
BUT what about a more intimate connection?
What’s happened to picking up the phone and talking?
Texts can be very short messages and they can also be a lengthy conversation. They can take 2 seconds to write, or messaging can take hours out of your day, when a phone call would have been; a) quicker, and b) more connected and intimate.
Sure, texting has it’s place, though don’t be fooled, texting too much could be the very thing that’s hurting your love life.
In fact, texting could be the reason that people are struggling to find someone they can share their life with. Texting can help break the ice and get communication started, yet there are many ways messaging could be doing more harm than good.
Consider the 5 ways that texting could be harming your love success:
- Incomplete Thoughts – Text messages and messaging on social media are usually very short. The use of acronyms and abbreviations is common. This can cause people to say things that are not complete. It is sometimes difficult to say all that needs to be said in a text. It is also possible to have messages that are not clear or can Be misunderstood. Mistakes like these can cause confusion in people in relationships. It can create problems that would not have happened if people had chosen to communicate in a clearer, more complete manner.
- Fence Sitting – Both men and women hide behind messaging. These messages can say something, yet nothing, all at the same time. Many of us have become modern day pen pals when we don’t have to. Texting also allows people to lead each other on and keep people hanging, without offering any real commitment. This modern dating dilemma has heightened due to online dating and apps like Tinder. It’s extremely easy to date a lot of people at any one time, and messaging keeps the connection alive without offering anything of substance. This will tend to keep you single rather than find you in a healthy loving relationship. Why not take the initiative by suggesting to to meet up? If they’re not interested then you’ll know. Time is too precious for attention seeking, fence sitting, going nowhere communication.
- Fear of rejection – So many women wait for the guy to call, I’m guilty of this too! Stop waiting for him to pick up the phone and dial first. Someone has to break the cycle, just do so in a way that’s not laden with expectation. If a guy thinks it’s weird that you called him, then he’s not the guy for you. Simply call him to say hi – nothing else, no suggestion of the next time to meet, just “Hi, how’s your week going?”. If you aim to keep it short and sweet he won’t think you’re needy and desperate. He’ll think you’re confident and a breath of fresh air.
- Texts never go away – People store the texts on their phone. Information that is sent over the internet can never truly be deleted. It can come back to haunt people in many ways, including hurting their love life. Be mindful what you text (and don’t drink and text).
- Texts lack emotion – Words can be used to describe things, but they cannot show the emotions and feelings of an individual that well. When people talk on the phone or in person their voice will impact the words they are saying. Their body language and physical expressions will help the other person understand what they are saying in a completely different way. The emotional part of a relationship is almost impossible to cultivate through text messages. If you do not feed the emotional side of a relationship, it can wither and die. Text messaging may help speed up the destruction.
It is estimated that there are more than 2 trillion text messages sent every year, which means that it’s not something that is going away and that is not a bad thing. There is a time and place for texting, and when it comes to creating a healthy and lasting relationship with another, some texting discernment is necessary. Stop looking down, look up and talk. If your head is often down deep in texting mode then chances are it’s time to connect in a healthier more intimate way.
The biggest issue here is; most people know this information, yet continue to message 99% of the time. Are you ready to break the cycle and show some confidence? I think it’s time to make a stand for healthier communication.