As a personal coach, any client that comes to me with issues in their love life or in their life in general, the first thing I need to unravel is the depth of their emotional understanding.
What everyone needs to understand is that no matter what type of person you’re in a relationship with… if you’re not emotionally healthy, chances are you’re going to run into trouble. In addition to that, no matter what, every relationship will have it’s challenges and who you are on the inside will reflect how well you navigate the sometimes challenging seas of life and love.
The way you process your emotions determines how you will deal with issues as they arise in your life. If you’re emotionally disconnected with yourself, it makes it that much harder for you to process and cope with relationships and circumstances that you may encounter. When you’re able to truly find peace within your emotional self you’ll start to see life and the relationships you’re in an entirely different way.
I’ve compiled a list of some of the signs of a person who is emotionally well-adjusted:
- You love who you are. Self-love is one of the most important aspects of love there is. When you love who you are and you belief in your worth, flaws and all, it makes developing relationships and interacting with life’s circumstances a lot easier. When you’re emotionally healthy you feel good about who you are. You know yourself inside and out including your strengths and weaknesses. Who you are on the inside is proudly displayed on the outside. You never feel as if you have to hide behind a mask or pretend to be someone that you’re not. You’re able to be genuine with yourself and with others without having any regrets.You are at peace with yourself.
- You treat others well. If you’re emotionally healthy you have the ability to see other people with compassion and mindfulness. You essentially treat them with the kindness and respect you value and would also like to receive. You’re sensitive to the needs and emotions of others and you’re willing to help where you can. Whether it’s lending a listening ear to a friend or returning a lost wallet to the store clerk, you do what you can to treat others well. At the same time, you have healthy boundaries and you treat others in a way that honors your core values – your kindness and consideration doesn’t come from a place of neediness to be liked or appreciated. You’re authentic in the way you relate to others.
- You adapt well. An emotionally healthy person has the innate ability to adapt to the many circumstances life may throw their way. You have the ability to assess a situation for what it is, make account of your surroundings and emotions (and the emotions of others), and make an informed decision based on the information you have in front of you. Those who are emotionally healthy understand that with every circumstance may come a different solution. There are times when you’ll need to talk things through or take action, and other instances in which you need to do nothing at all. This quality also allows you to approach life and relationships from a place of openness. This is about feeling into the situation, rather than always approaching the situation from a place of logic or data.
- You show gratitude to others. Do you find it easy to show gratitude to those who are special in your life, and to be grateful for your life, regardless of what’s happened or happening? This essentially means that you choose to look at the glass as half full as opposed to half empty. You appreciate who and what you have in life rather than paying attention to the things you don’t. Showing gratitude is great for building healthy relationships. Your significant other, children, parents, and friends will feel valued and appreciated by you. You essentially know how to provide unconditional love to those you care about.
- You’re in touch with your emotions. Yet another sign of great emotional health is that you accept your emotions as a natural part of life. You know how to connect your emotions without letting them overwhelm you. You understand that there will be periods of ups and downs in your life, and you find ways to understand your emotions so that they do not intervene with your day to day life. You know that you’re emotions are linked to your beliefs and are simply an indicator of the thoughts that you have about a situation. You’re emotions help guide you to look deeper into your psyche so that you can experience a sense of inner peace and joy.
- You lead a life of passion. Do you use your skills and abilities to help or support something that you believe? Maybe you volunteer your time to children, are active in your religious group, or compete in a marathon to support a good cause? Someone who is emotionally in tune likes the idea of being connected and a part of something that is larger than themselves. They have a big picture approach to life and love.
- You cherish the moments in your life. What do you value in life? It has been proven that those who hold a higher value on things such as obtaining riches, being famous, or the most attractive are often not very emotionally balanced. However, those who value self-fulfillment and helping others are said to be happier and more content with life. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t have financial goals and things that you desire, it simply means that you value the experience of living life and being with others as opposed to obtaining things or reaching a goal to prove your worth and value.
Are You Emotionally Healthy?
After reading a bit about what it means to be emotionally at peace, how do you feel? Do you believe that you are emotionally attuned to you, or are there some areas of your life that you could use a little change in?
The good thing is that there are plenty of ways in which you can learn to balance your emotions, learn self-love, and see life a different way. Below are a few suggestions:
Quick Tips to Improve Your Emotional Health
- Allow yourself to feel. Instead of bottling your emotions up or denying them altogether, start allowing yourself to feel. Write down your negative emotions instead of acting on them so you can vent.
- Grow daily. Every day challenge yourself to take risks. By doing this, you allow yourself to grow which is great for those who need to improve their ability to self-love. The risks don’t have to be hard. You can talk to someone new, learning a new skill, or even setting a workout goal.
- Live for now. A lot of times our mental health becomes challenged when we focus too much on what was or what could be. Though it is important to have structure and plans in your life, allowing them to consume your mind can be detrimental.
- Laugh a lot. Life is way too short to always have a frown on your face. Try to find the bright side of things and laugh a little more through the ups AND downs in life.
- Learn to be grateful. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, it’s great to show gratitude for what you do. Start reciting positive things about your life on a daily basis. Things like “I’m happy I have a job” and “I’m blessed I have a home” can start to make you cherish what you have now.
- Find a passion. Previously, we talked about how connecting to something larger than yourself helps your life to feel purposeful and meaningful. Finding a passion can help you in this area. Do more of what makes your heart sing. It could be meditation or seeing friends more often, or a mix of a few different activities.
- Watch who you surround yourself with. You may need to take a look your relationships to determine if they’re healthy. Having people who give off negative energy can certainly affect your emotional well-being. You may need to separate yourself from them as you learn to heal. If this is the case I suggest you do this from a place of love and compassion, rather than righteousness or by wronging anyone.
Take it from a relationship coach. If you have a significant history of poor relationships or simply not feeling fulfilled in life you may need to take an assessment of your emotional well-being.
If you find that there are areas you need to work on, utilize the tips I provided above and learn to love yourself, build healthy relationships, and make friends with your emotions. As you practice these tips you will start to feel as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.