Why is it that women seem to gravitate more towards the bad guys? We state we want a guy that will rub our backs, pick up groceries, help with the kids, and even be handy around the house, but when that guy comes along…we run the other way.
Instead of opening up your arms to a quality man, you find yourself more willing to invest your time with someone who’s the complete opposite of this. Somehow you’d rather put up with the headache, stress, and strain of being in an unhealthy relationship… but why?
Are good guys intimidating?
Are good guys boring?
Do good guys lack backbone?
Do you NOT have a good idea of how you deserve to be treated?
Do nice guys turn you off?
Or, do you simply not have a CLUE what a good guy really is?
Of all the mistakes women make when trying to find a long lasting relationship, I believe that letting a good man pass them by is at the top of the list. You can get so wrapped up in the superficial and the aesthetics of a guy, that you completely overlook the things that will matter most.
Some women will say that “all the nice guys are taken”, others will say “they don’t exist”, but the truth is, there are very attractive nice guys out there waiting to sweep you of your feet.
How Do You Know He’s a Nice Guy?
I’ve certainly had my fair share of “posers”. In other words, guys who pretended to be nice in the hope of getting into my pants. Therefore, I understand all too well how careful you have to be when trying to find true love.
The truth is,most men are pretty straight forward and will tell you who they are and what they’re looking for early on, it’s up to you to listen and then act accordingly. Sure, some men play games and are all about the chase, but beware, if you get hooked they’ll be sure to leave you barely clinging to your own identity and sense of security.
So… to end this painful cycle I came up with 8 tips to help you spot a good guy, the type of man who’s looking for a lasting, intimate and loving relationship.
- He’s Your Biggest Fan
The first sign that you’ve got a good guy on your hands is his level of support for you. You should be a priority in his life. A nice guy will support your dreams and encourage you to accomplish your goals in any way that he can.
- He Listens to You
This is a big one in a healthy relationship. A good guy is willing to listen to every word you have to say. Whether you’re talking about how your day went at work or some desires you may have for your future. He’s not switching the conversation to be about him, instead he’s listening to you.
- He Takes Care of Himself
Of course there’s nothing wrong with catering to your man, but a good guy can take care of himself. In other words, he is not looking to take advantage of you. He understands the importance of first loving and caring for himself so that he can pass that love on to you. A nice guy is physically, emotionally, and spiritually sound within himself.
- He Speaks His Mind – Respectfully
Every woman wants their man to have a little backbone. Now the difference between a nice guy and a push over is their ability to have a separate opinion/identity from you. While he may allow you to speak and listen carefully to what you have to say, he has no issue with respectfully disagreeing.
- He Shows He Cares Through Acts of Love
While a nice guy will show you love and appreciation on the daily basis, there are times when he may go out of his way to show you how much he cares. A mistake that women make when in relationships with nice guys is assume his acts of love and kindness are mushy or too sensitive. However, a guy who periodically compliments you, makes you breakfast in bed, gives you a foot massage, or simply sends you a text message stating how much he cares is not mushy or overly sensitive. He’s simply a nice guy.
- He Genuinely Cares About Friends and Family
A nice guy is going to care about every aspect of you. This would include your friends and family. Even if he doesn’t have close relationships with every one of your friends or family members, he still cares because they are a part of you. He might ask about how your friends are doing, provide words of wisdom if they’re down and out, suggest you go visit them if it’s been a while since you’ve seen them, and more.
- He Treats EVERYONE with Kindness
A nice guy is not just nice to you, he’s nice to everyone. If a guy gives off a dismissive, rude, or aggressive vibe when around others, this is a surefire sign to get the heck out of dodge. However, if he is kind and compassionate to everyone who crosses his path, he’s definitely a keeper. This includes your friends, family, and children.
- He’s Not Going to Smother You
At first glance this might seem a bit harsh, but it’s actually something we should all live by. In a nutshell, he’s not needy or clingy. If you need your own space, he’s willing to give it to you without a second thought. As much as he admires the relationship and what you have, he understands the importance of individuality in a healthy relationship.
Look Past the Exterior
If you’re going to find true love you must be willing to look past the exterior. Sure a guy can be physically fit with a ton of cash and a nice car, but is he nice?
There are certainly physically fit, sexy and financially secure bachelors out there that also have a nice personality, but what I’m trying to say here is; look to his character. Don’t be so quick to rush into a relationship because a guy appears nice. Feel him out in a gentle heart felt way.
Pay attention to how he treats you, your family, and others. Does he love himself? Is your relationship a priority? The material things will fade, but at the end of the day you want a nice guy that’s going to love you until the end of time.
Perhaps the most important question here is – Are you ready for a good, kind, nice man? Sometimes this is the bigger issue and the reason why some women don’t fall for the nice ones.
Once you believe you deserve a loving and healthy relationship, one that stems from an authentic and real connection, you will then manifest it.
And trust me when I say, not all nice guys are boring, you’ve just got to get to know Mr. Nice guy, as most will surprise you in all the best ways.
~ Nadine x
P.S. Do you have a personal story about meeting a good man? Did you have to overcome some inner battles to be able to appreciate him and receive his love? Share with me below the blog…
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