Do you love drama… a little bit of excitement? That heart-stopping, stomach-churning, beat-skipping feeling that comes with being in a thrilling new relationship, is one of the best forms of excitement you’ll find while you’re dating. Unfortunately, excitement may sometimes come with a hefty dose of drama, which people tend to get addicted to.
You may think it’s irrational to actually seek out drama in love, but you’d be surprised to know that there are many motivations behind it. For one, people tend to look for drama when their relationship is starting to feel a little boring. Implanting drama into the mix can make you feel the passion and the surge of emotions to convince you that your relationship isn’t boring.
Another reason people love drama in their relationship is to bring about change. If you want something to happen in your relationship, whether it’s making it official, moving in or fixing some problems, drama can be the catalyst to make you and your partner realize that something needs to be done.
Having a bit of love drama and being addicted to it are two very different things. A relationship can be very difficult if you feel like constant drama is the modus operandi. So how can you know if your relationship behavior denotes an unhealthy addiction to drama?
Here are some of the telltale signs:
- You pick fights about the tiniest things, whether it’s about your guy being two minutes late for your date or suddenly forgetting to do the dishes. The worst part is, you find yourself being thrilled at the prospect of actually reciting that scathing admonition you’ve been rehearsing in your head.
- No matter how petty your fight is, you often blow things out of proportion. If your guy so much as uses one “wrong” word in his argument, you have the tendency to twist his words around to make them sound worse than what they really are.
- You find yourself attracted to guys who are labeled as “bad boys” simply because they spark a mix of desire and confusion. You know that this roller-coaster excitement can often lead to disagreements in your perspectives on things, but the highs and lows to you seem more exciting than a relationship filled with certainty and consistent love.
- You lookout for any incriminating messages in your boyfriend’s inbox. You know you don’t really want to find anything that implies he’s got straying eyes, but finding a message from a girl you don’t know gives you that jolt of excitement, nonetheless.
- You often bring up something good your ex used to do in the hope that your guy would scramble to his feet and outdo your ex.
- You mention that your boyfriend’s ex is probably better than you at something just so you can watch your guy constantly reassure you that he’s over her.
- You tweet or post something completely vague yet slightly passive aggressive in the hope that either your significant other or your friends would ask you about it. You just love it when you keep people hanging.
- You don’t respond to your significant other for more than 24 hours, and you relish each worried text you receive from him.
Drama addiction doesn’t have to be something you’ll live with forever. With a few changes in your mindset and in your lifestyle, you can kick it to the curb and spare your relationship the unneeded drama! Here are three ways you can do that:
- Find out what makes up a happy relationship. The celebrity news stories, the gossip columns and your friends’ Facebook posts about their amazing or awful partners aren’t the yardstick you should measure your relationship against! TV shows and movies always emphasize the dramatic parts of a relationship, but that’s only so that people would be interested. Real relationships don’t always have to have heart-aching intensity. In fact, healthy relationships may even be considered “boring” because of their lack of dramatic episodes and abundance of rational communication.
- Learn to value an easy and flowing relationship. Drama is like an addiction. So start loving being with someone who’s consistently kind and considerate with you as you are him. Really value that and get excited by the magic of simple loving. Create some fireworks in a more healthy way.
- Think before you speak. This is easier said than done, and it requires a lot of practice. The next time you feel the urge to say a truly scathing retort to your guy, ask yourself if it’s necessary. Will saying it make your relationship better? Will those words actually contribute to the solution? Are you sure you’re not just saying it to make your fight last longer? The next time you feel a witty yet unnecessary retort rising up from your throat, take a deep breath and think of something to say that will actually help solve your problem. After having found your Mr. Right you don’t want to risk seeing him move away, would you?
- Just let it go. Whenever something tiny and petty gets on your nerves, try to fight the urge to lash out at it. For instance, if your guy seems to be spending a couple more minutes getting ready than you, ask yourself if it really is such a big deal. Would fighting over it really solve the problem? Wouldn’t it be better if you just learn to accept it and just let it slide? Besides, just because you fight over it, doesn’t mean he’ll change this little habit, right? And of course, guys do think differently after all!
Whenever you feel like you need more action in your relationship, inserting drama into the mix isn’t always the best solution. You may love drama but getting addicted to it is not advisable. There are tons of other ways to have a fun and eventful relationship without the drama. You can always opt for unconventional dates to give you the thrill you’re seeking.
Just remember that fights, raised voices and heightened emotions on a daily basis is a call for concern. There’s more to a relationship than fighting and making up! How about some authentic heart opened loving, caring and sharing? (healthy love J )
Tell me about your love dramas or what you did to change your relationship into a more loving and heart connected one. We’d all love to hear about it.
~ Nadine Piat xx
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