Do you still see the excitement in his eyes when he sees you? If the answer is “NO” then there could be something that’s hindering your connection.
Losing your man’s interest over you may not always be because of “someone else” it could be, at some point, because of lack of spark and inspiration. A relationship can go stale when things have become too predictable. Is one or both of you, bored of each other?
This can happen and in a number of ways…
You might be the most attentive and loving girlfriend, yet boredom and predictably can still set in. Sure, most men love a conventional woman, someone they feel safe and supported by, though, most men, if they’re really honest, at times also crave for a little something else (with you) to keep desire and attraction alive.
Sometimes, we box ourselves into the stereotypical notion of what we think a woman should be like in a relationship – sweet, caring and loving… and forget that perhaps this is not the only way and maybe not always the best way to inspire lasting and passionate love.
So, how can you ignite some new found desire with a guy, without being someone you’re not?
Firstly, I want you to ask yourself – am I multidimensional woman? You may wonder what this means? Most of us are unsure what we need to do to create the result we want with men, that sees us relating to men in an autopilot kind of way. You’re no different to me or any other woman, the way you relate to men has been conditioned, the good news is you can change this and it’s worth it.
To keep a relationship alive it’s important to be multidimensional. According to Jane Fonda, an openly known feminist – “You have to look at yourself wholly – every woman has a dual journey: an inner journey and an outer journey. You have to feel good about yourself inside- spiritually, and feel good about yourself outside- physically”.
This means that you should not focus on one area that you think you are best at; you have to embody the different aspects of yourself. In my program Never Lose Him, I go into this in great detail, though here is a good place to start:
The multidimensional woman fine-tunes the following:
TOO NICE – Are you too nice, too vanilla, too predictable? Are you so focused on being nice that you tend to lose yourself with men? Maybe you think that if you’re accommodating, understanding and there for him, whenever he needs you, he will like you more. Unfortunately this can have him seeing you as one-dimensional and even doormat-like. To change this, there is no need to play games, just be a woman who has her own life and interests too. Sometimes you will be free when he is, sometimes you won’t be. You can’t be good to him if you’re not good to yourself.
TEASE HIM – Do you tease him in a healthy way? Do you make conversation exciting and a little steamy sometimes? You can do this through the way you touch him and/or the way you talk. Try talking about something you think he might be interested in or something that can draw him in and him get excited. Some people tease people in a belittling way, this is not the kind of teasing I am suggesting. You could say something like – “Since you like me so much I was thinking that you might like to….”, “I know you can’t wait to sleep so you can start dreaming about me”. If he wants you to do something that you’re not ready to do yet, you can say – “That’s sounds wonderful to me… though good things come to those who wait”. Play with him in a way that captivates him.
WARRIOR WOMAN – You can be nice and sweet but every woman should engage her inner warrior when necessary; do not be afraid to share what’s important to you, men love and respect this, just be tactful about how you express this. Being a warrior is all about engaging your femininity in a way that’s earthy and grounded. If you’re challenged with something in the relationship then you must voice it, though not in away that’s aggressive. The warrior woman expresses herself with dignity, vulnerability and heart, she might be clear and direct, though she’s still ALL HEART.
THE UNEXPECTED – Variety is the spice of life and most of us love little surprises. Even if you don’t like sports, maybe try to learn about his favorite games just a little, he’ll love that you at least tried to “get it” and venture into his world. Suggest to do something different with him; this can be as simple as seeing a type of movie that you normally would not, hiking, visiting a gallery together, or even a new sexual position.
To sum it all up be his nurturer- someone who cares for him (without mothering him); lover- someone who tantalises and excites him; best-friend- someone he can depend on, advocate- someone who stands for him and encourages him; and even his occasional accountability or moral compass– this will keep you both honest and inspire you BOTH to be the best you can be.
This kind of woman is a breath of fresh air! You’re no push over and at the same time you’re loving, intelligent, warm and interesting – you’re authentically captivating!