Sometimes, the hardest thing to fathom is that love is EVERYWHERE. Especially when we’ve been through heartache after heartache, it’s not always easy to remain optimistic when it comes to finding true love. Often it seems much easier to feel a sense of doom, which is sure to see you feeling as though love will never happen and that relationships outright suck.
But the beautiful truth is, love can show up at the most unsuspected times, love, could even be right in front of you, but you just don’t know it yet. Now, I’m sure you’re thinking, that’s not true, love doesn’t just show up for me. There’s no man in my life right now that I like or that loves me. Perhaps this is true, perhaps not…
What I do know is that you would be shocked to know how often we walk away from true compatible love.
How does this happen?
Well, one of the biggest blocks to love is not knowing what you truly want. In a world of internet dating and apps you would think that it would be easier, but when you don’t know what you want you either end up with nothing at all because you just can’t make a decision, or you choose someone who’s wrong for you in almost every way.
If you want to find love fast and easily, then fine tune your core values and learn to recognize the qualities of a man who’s going to be good for you, and not scared of it. You read that right, I said ‘scared’. More often than not people are scared of experiencing true love. They want it, yet they fear it. Fearing the commitment you seek can see you running away from epic love, rather than running towards it. I know this, because over the years I have mastered the art of running away from compatible love.
If you meet a guy who you find really sexy and he’s interested in what you do, though he’s unreliable, is dating other women and can’t hold a job, then perhaps, he’s not what you want.
Maybe you meet a guy who doesn’t want any more kids. He’s clear on that, but you want children. While there may be many things about him that you love, he’s still not the man for you based on the fact that you want a family.
If you meet a man from a different culture and he’s explained he can only marry a woman of the same culture. If you’re not willing to change your religion (if that is even an option as religion and culture can be rather different requirements), then he’s probably not someone you could be with forever (if at all).
Of course, within each one of the above scenarios, there are exceptions, however, what I’m saying is that when it comes to your heart and you living the life you want to live you cannot be hoping you’re the exception, the “benefit of the doubt” only has so many lives.
So, no one person will be able to satisfy you completely in every way, no human is infalible. Yet, when a man is legitimately a wonderful match for you, deep down you’ll know when you’ve found your “home”, your true love.
So today I encourage you to be courageous enough to walk away from something that does not fit your piece of the puzzle so that you can free yourself to find the piece that does fits.
Here are some tips to finding out if love to closer to you than you believe:
- FEEL – How do you feel or want to feel when you’re around true love? Do you want to feel uplifted, safe, secure, desired, and giddy? Or do you prefer to invest in someone that has you feeling insecure, confused, mistreated, uncomfortable, unappreciated?
- Traits of commitment– You have to know the traits of a man that you admire. Forget what he looks like and focus on what kind of character traits you’re looking for. Is he thoughtful and kind? Even when he’s busy does he treat you well?
- Reflect on past relationships – You can get a good gauge on what you want and don’t want in a man by evaluating your past relationships. Create a list of the qualities you liked about your past relationships and the experiences you would not like to revisit in the future. It’s vital to learn from your past relationships so that you can appreciate the qualities you do want in a new man.
- Consider your goals – What are your relationship goals at this point in your life? Are you looking for something casual or are you at a point in your life where you’re ready to settle down? Depending on your answer, you want to meet a guy that’s in the same headspace as you are when it comes to relationship status and what they’re looking for. A man will let this be known directly or indirectly.
- Date without strings – Instead of jumping into a full on relationship, why not try dating? Getting out and dating guys with qualities you’re attracted to can help you to figure out what other things you might want in a man. In the process of dating, you may end up finding true love. The idea is to get to know a man without any pressure. Yes, you want him to be relationship ready, though this doesn’t mean he’s a match. Allow yourself the time to get to know his character traits, life goals and values, and if they align with yours.
It’s Time to Get Real
If you’ve sat down and really evaluated what you want in a partner, you’ve been dating, and somehow still feel as if you can’t find true love, then you may need to get honest with yourself and your expectations.
Oftentimes women can have a laundry list of requirements a guy must have in order to be Mr. Right. If we’re honest, a lot of this list what we think we want, rather than what we require or need.
It’s quite possible that the right man hasn’t come along because your blueprint of what the right man should be like is a bit off the mark. While you’re supposed to be cautious of who you give your heart to, being overly cautious could leave you single and without intimate love.
I have a Private Facebook Group for my VIP members and one of the ladies in the group met a guy who she was scared to get romantically involved with. Even though he was perfect in almost every way, he was a little older than she preferred in a man and perhaps not as good looking as she hoped for. For these reasons she held back and avoided touching him or kissing him, because once she did she knew that it could be serious, and because of her uncertainty and her fear to commit she did not want to mislead him. She was in a quandry.
As we collectively worked through her blocks, she realized that that she was scared to progress things because she knew he was the real deal and she was also worried of being judged by the age difference (btw – it’s not huge, just over 10 years). In the end she faced her fear, took a plunge and is now deeply fulfilled with this man, when in the past she would have baulked and ended it. She’s ridiculously happy that she pushed through her barriers to love.
So this is why it’s important to sit down and really rule out your high or even unrealistic expectations of what your dream guy should look like, be like, and do. When you eliminate the unnecessary expectations you’ve placed on the ideal guy, you may find that the perfect one is not far off (and you may even know him).
True love is easier to find than you think. Once you make peace with your past, fears, and doubts, then you open the door to finding true love , and voila, he arrives and sweeps you off you feet like no other man can or has.