To even think about a new relationship after an unsuccessful one can be a scary thought. Whether you went through a bitter divorce or you’ve just come out of a short term relationship, finding love again after a breakup can see you running for cover and have your palms sweating with fear.
Sure, you may want love again, yet, the feeling of getting hurt can takeover. The fear of facing any form of emotional pain all over again can feel more than your heart can take. Even if you have a kind and attentive man right in front of you, you may feel paralyzed to move ahead due to your previous experience.
Sometimes, a failed relationship leaves you with many scars. These scars can be a feeling of unworthiness, lack of self-confidence and hopelessness, and relationships that end due to cheating or abuse, can leave a deep wound. They may leave you feeling eroded with a belief that all men are the same, or that all relationships are doomed.
I read a quote by Babe Ruth, that said, “let not the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.” Love success is no different to striving for business success, and history proves that the most “successful” people in any field, failed more times than they succeeded before reaching their goal and vision. All success comes from stumbles and falls, from learning and tweaking, and by remaining optimistic – no matter how rocky the journey seems!
This means, it’s time to get your head, heart and mind, back into the love-game.
So, to help you get your winning streak and overcome the fear of rejection, I have some great tips.
1. Accept and Move On:
No matter how much you were involved in the relationship, it’s always wise to accept that the relationship is over. Don’t hang on to old memories. Let the pain out and allow the light to shine. Don’t try to resist pain. The first step to move on is accepting that there is pain in your heart. Face it and let your tears out. Discuss your pain either with your family, friends or therapist. You can also maintain a diary to write down your feelings. So, if you think writing can help you to accept and move forward then it is a good idea. You can avoid being too harsh on yourself and be more compassionate about your situation. Understand that sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. Nevertheless, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
2. Know Your Worth:
Every relationship ends for a reason. That’s okay. A relationship ending or a string of ‘going nowhere’ dates does not mean there is something wrong with you. It could mean that you haven’t met a man that you’re compatible with, it could mean that you can be needy in a relationship, it could mean that you don’t know what you want, it could mean that you’re fearfull of love? No matter what happened it’s important to know that you are worthy of love. Always. You’re worth and value as a living being is not determined by your love life. No man or relationship can define your value. When you know this you won’t be so concerned about being rejected, you will keep standing and will remain connected to the love within, while remaining true to the love you want and deserve (from another). Be OKAY with being rejected – it’s all about perception anyway. Most of the time it’s a blessing in disguise.
3. Open Your Mind:
Sometimes you may look for the right partner with a limited mindset. Borders are meant for states and countries. And yes, it’s good to have healthy boundaries in a relationship, however, a limited or rigid mindset may keep you from finding true love. Your upbringing, friends, relatives, profession and many other things shape your choices. Nevertheless, they can prohibit you from accepting or inviting healthy love in when it comes knocking on your door. You may reject true love just because it doesn’t seem to fit in or look like how you imagined. The check-listed man may not actually bring the long lasting happiness you want. He may leave you disappointed and hurt. Therefore, it is essential to open your mind and let love flow in. Age, religion, race or any other parameters should not stop you from embracing the potential of love – what really matters is that your core values are aligned and that you actually like the person that you’re with (not just a few things about them).
MORE => Have you ever been hooked to the wrong guy for you? =>>> Attract the right man for you here.
4. “Pamper” Yourself:
Not all pampering is about massages, facials or spending money on clothes or “stuff” (particularly if you don’t have the money to spend). Going to a therapy session could be a self-love pamper. Nourishing your body and changing your environment might be what you really need. Everything you do and how you live your life is a reflection of the love you have for yourself. If you’re taking a relationship breakup badly and the pain is lingering (or even intensifying), then it’s time to love you more, and go deeper. Self-honour and self-worth are your greatest allies when it comes to healing and finding love. By “pampering” yourself you are illuminating the beauty and love within you. The beauty that radiates from within attracts light and healing…
Pampering yourself could be; seeing friends more, exercising and eating better, dating less or dating more, going on an adventure trip, being more accepting of yourself, joining a yoga class or taking spirituality lessons may also help. These are all forms of self-pampering.
5. Date in the NOW:
When we live in the past or future we can feel anxious and the fear of rejection or getting hurt can surface and muddy our present moment. When dating new people focus on being in your body and in the now. Don’t worry too much about what could or will happen. What matters is if the person in front of you is a nice guy. If so, then keep dating. Every person has different values and it takes time to know another person’s values. When you know your values you can then love from a place of ease and clarity.
Now, get ready to open your arms to love. Right now is a good time.
How did you overcome a breakup ? What’s your remedy or are you still struggling? Let me know below the blog in the comments section.
~ Love Nadine
INTERESTING: Want to understand how to get over rejection from a man’s perspective
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