Yes, you read this right — I said “the perfect man”. But don’t let this mislead you into thinking there is one single perfect type of man. There isn’t.
Men are as different as we are. However, there are particular qualities that will certainly indicate if the man you’re interested in, or spending time with, is a quality man, a man worth investing your heart and soul in.
These qualities have nothing to do with temperament, profession, or appearance. They are always present in the best kinds of men we meet in our lives and, alas, so often pass by.
If you truly desire a healthy relationship then here are 5 traits to look for:
1. Integrity – A quality man is a man of integrity. He would not lie to you in order to gain an advantage in your relationship because for him, the relationship is not a battle of wills. He is honest about his feelings and is not afraid to show how he feels.
2. Consideration – The man you want in your life is considerate. He will consciously and consistently take your feelings into account– no matter what, he will respect and consider your needs, wants, dreams, ambitions, and opinions.
3. Self-respect– It’s difficult to really respect and love someone if you have no respect for yourself. A great man respects himself. He knows what he’s worth, and I’m not talking about money here. What I’m talking about is a man aware of his strong and weak points, a man who knows himself, a man who looks for an equal partner whose needs he can respond to, gladly, and who will respond to his needs.
4. Emotional intelligence–A healthy-minded man is in check of his emotions. He doesn’t deny them and he is not ashamed to show them. At the same time, he would never use his emotions as a weapon in your relationship, he would never emotionally blackmail you. Yes, some men do, just as some women do.
5. Presence — The man deserving of your love and commitment will be there for you. Not just in difficult times when you need his emotional support. Not just when you need a hand with a clogged pipe. He will be fully present when you’re together because you are important to him and he is not trying to hide it (perhaps not so much when he’s watching his favorite Netflix series).
So there you have it, five qualities to look for in the men you date.
But here’s one last word of caution. Don’t place the bar too high. The thing about perfect men is… well, as I said,they’re never completely “perfect”.
No person can accommodate equal and maximum amounts of integrity, consideration, self-respect, emotional balance and presence, that you believe they “should”! Because we all have varying perspectives of what these qualities are.
The trick here is to approach challenges with mindfulness and heart. A man ready for healthy love will work with you to overcome any confusions and uncertainties (because you will have them).
A “true man” is willing to look at himself and improve aspects of himself to allow him to have a truly intimate relationship with you. Just as a woman who’s truly ready to love a man, she will want to overcome her sticking points and grow with him too.
This is vulnerability and true intimate love at it’s best.
If the man you’re dating has these five qualities you’ll feel it. Just make sure you pay attention to that feeling – it should feel safe and peaceful.
BUT, don’t confuse peace with boredom!
Plenty a woman has walked away from a quality man because the lack of drama and emotional turmoil somehow felt “wrong”.
There is nothing that feels more ”wrong” than drama filled interactions and emotionally devastating infatuations.
So today have a really good think about what really matters to you. Unhook yourself from the unhealthy and create a healthy kinda love!