A Good Relationship Starts with You!

Are you craving a good relationship?  You know how they say that you can’t love another person completely until you learn to love yourself?

This may seem like a cliché, but it’s true.  And as I talk about in my Unlock His Heart program… the heart of love comes from your heart (not his).

If you’d like to experience great love then I suggest loving you more is a great place to start…

However, the ways in which you can love yourself may sometimes get so muddled that they border on narcissism. But self-love isn’t the only thing you need in order to attract love or make your relationship into a strong relationship. There are other things I would encourage you to do for yourself in order to help improve your relationship with your partner…

1.  Get to know yourself deeper. There’s definitely more to you than meets the eye, but knowing your little quirks is only scratching the surface. In fact, you may have habits, tendencies and thoughts that could negatively impact your relationship. For example, if you’re very sensitive when it comes to receiving criticism about your home’s cleanliness, the slightest comment from your partner may push you into a flurry of rage.

On the other hand, if you were aware of your triggers, you can do something to control the way you respond to it:

a)     You could practice stepping back, taking a breath and seeing that perhaps you take these kind of comments as a personal attack.  Maybe you are very tidy, or perhaps you’re extremely messy.  If that is case you could laugh it off and make fun of it and also accept who you are and how you live.  If you loving accept how you are you will have no reason to react.

You could say, yes, an accurate observation honey… aren’t I fantastic (or a great catch), then laugh. Or say, thank you, what a lovely compliment and wink or laugh.  It’s that simple and you can use this for all different kinds of situations. But to do this well you must be comfortable with this aspect of you.

b)     You can admit to him that you are what he says and work out a way to be more tidy or less fastidious. As per the above comment, you can be light about it.  You could respond with; “yes, you’re so right and I’m a beautiful work in progress“  (Haha)

For example:  You can try to relax and be less anxious about your house and environment or you could decide to make more of an effort and to look after your home more than you do. It’s up to you.  But do it from a self-loving and heart centered place.

2.  Show your true colors with your partner.  A relationship will falter if there’s no trust or honesty. It’s usually a case of “best foot forward” at the start of the relationship. But doing this all the time can be tiring, and it can turn into a form of deception. In order to be honest with your partner, you must also be honest with yourself.

Observe the way you act, the way you speak, the way you come up with ideas and so on. Is this really who you are, or do you do/say these things a certain way because that’s what you think is expected?

When you’ve come to terms with who you truly are, then you can slowly show yourself to your partner or to someone you’re dating, imperfections and all. Don’t be afraid to let him through your defenses and see the real you.  What other’s like and don’t like, or what they deem as attractive or unattractive may surprise you.  You could be attracting incompatible men because you’re not being authentic.

3. Open yourself up. Speaking of defenses, you can’t always keep those walls up all the time. Sooner or later, you have to let your guard down in order to become truly intimate with your partner. A man may be looking to form a deeper and more meaningful connection with you, but if he cannot feel you; the more intimate parts of you, he won’t feel safe to open up to you or he will pull away.

Try to give him glimpses of things that you’ve hidden from other people. It may make you feel vulnerable at first, but keep in mind that your partner is also making himself vulnerable by sharing a part of himself with you. You don’t necessarily have to jump to your deepest feelings or darkest secrets, but slowly revealing your inner self with him can be the foundation for a deeper connection.

4. Practice self-compassion. Everyone has flaws and shortcomings. Your partner will already be aware of this, so there’s really no point in moving mountains to make him think that you’re perfect in every single way. Instead, learn to come to terms with your shortcomings and be compassionate with yourself when these “flaws” manifest themselves in your (hopefully) good relationship.

You can’t be the prim and proper princess all the time, and you don’t have to pretend to be “one of the boys” when your partner’s mates come over. But you can at least learn to accept that you can only do so much, and that your partner can still love you despite the things you can’t do.  He’s not always as you want him to be.  That’s life.

So, start with yourself, and your relationship will follow, and I can assure you this IS the quickest and easiest ways to real love.

By making healthy changes from the inside out, you can learn to form a more meaningful connection with your partner. And if you’re in a good relationship, he in turn, can also try the tips above so that your relationship becomes a cycle of dynamic intimacy.

If you’d like to find out about more heart-connected love and deeper intimacy then have a look at this – CLICK HERE

If you’d like to understand your emotions more and why you keep getting hooked to the wrong men for you then this will help you – CLICK HERE