Are you in a relationship that you feel it could be that time…when it is time to break up…
A relationship is born every 67 seconds and a lot of times, people get into relationships for different reasons. For some it’s for love, and for other people the reason could be anything from; wanting to belong to someone, fear of dying alone, worried about the so called “biological clock”. However, getting into a relationship for reasons other than healthy love can leave a person feeling lonely, depressed, anxious, deprived of their inner strength and uncertain and down and out about love and relationships.
Here’s the top 7 times when it is time to break up and move on…
Time to Breakup Reason 1: Abuse
Run for the hills if your partner is physically or verbally abusive. You’ll almost always be to blame when something isn’t going right. They will want you to feel “small” and insecure and unless they feel in control you will be the one they’ll try to hurt to feel better. It’s rare for a person who’s highly abusive to change. Unless they commit to serious therapy, it’s likely to get worse. It’s a lonely and scary place. This relationship is devoid of love, kindness, safety, care and support. If they tell you they love you, I ask YOU – what do you believe love is supposed to feel like? Scary, fearful and emotional rollercoaster would not be on my list. Get out of there. You deserve real love.
Time to Breakup Reason 2: Addiction
A person, who is addicted to alcohol, drugs, or gambling, has one love and that’s their addiction. Everything else takes a back seat. Do want to be in the front row seat or the back row seat in this person’s life? You should never be put on hold while that person feeds their addiction – it’s clear that right now is when it is time to break up. Having a healthy relationship with someone who has an addiction is next to possible, and addicts are typically great liars and manipulators. Get real and look after you. (Of course there are many more addictions than the ones I have listed)
Time to Breakup Reason 3: Constant Fighting
If you’re in a relationship with someone who’s inconsiderate, close-minded and intolerant of your feelings then it’s time to assess what’s going on here. Are you also yelling and carrying on? If so, you might want to commit to changing you’re approach first, it nothing changes and the two of you cannot find a way to be loving, kind, supportive and to communicate in a healthy respectful way then it’s important to reevaluate the relationship.
Time to Breakup Reason 4: Lying and Cheating
People cheat for a myriad of reasons. Cheating once can often be overcome with professional therapy, although it depends on the situation. Some people can’t help themselves and they will continue to cheat and lie. Not all people who are compulsive liars will cheat on their partner, although in some ways lying is cheating. Cheating your partner of honesty, intimacy or safety. You cannot feel safe around someone you don’t believe. Safety is a crucial part of a relationship. When two people agree to be monogamous, then cheating is unacceptable.
Time to Breakup Reason 5: Jealousy
Jealousy is a passion killer and is unnecessary in a relationship. You are either; the jealous one or they are. The long and short of it is – you or they are jealous for good reason or not. Once you work out if you/they are being hypersensitive and insecure VERSUS, you/they are behaving in appropriate ways with other people – you’ll then know how to deal with it. Get help, sort it out, or move on out.
Time to Breakup Reason 6: Neediness
In the event that you’re with someone who has to be the center of your attention, needs constant validation, demands to know where you are at all times, has no good reason not to trust you, and often feels insecure, and despite your best efforts to work with them and assist them to overcome their neediness, they remain draining and insecure – I suggest it’s time to find someone who’s confident, emotionally secure and brings healthy love into the relationship. Also read – How to Stop Being Clingy
Time to Breakup Reason 7: No Physical Connection
Zing and physical chemistry is an integral part of a healthy love relationship, some people regard a healthy and satisfying sex life as a absolute must. If sex is not that important to you then this does not need to be a deal breaker. If physical compatibly and a healthy sex life is what you value then try sex therapy and see if it improves. If it doesn’t then I suggest you find someone you are better suited to.
In conclusion, love is not supposed to hurt. Loving someone should feel pretty good most of the time and healthy love goes hand in hand with learning and growing and intimacy does not exist without it.
If you value real love then love continues through kindness, care and understanding. If you are experiencing any of the above 6 challenges and your partner does not want to work on these things with you, then I suggest you start treating you with kindness, care and understanding. Meaning, it’s likely time to let the relationship go, and please seek professional support if needed.
Love you well and you’ll attract healthy love.