I have not met a person who has not felt some level of emotional pain in the face of love.
Sometimes it can feel as though you’re in love-poop and you have no idea how to get out of it.
No matter how evolved you are, no matter how much love you have for yourself, a relationship breakdown or a string of failed dates can wear heavy on your loving heart.
So, how do you get up when you feel so down?
Here are three things you can do to get you out of the slump and back into love again;
- No Blaming
Blame gets you nowhere! Blaming yourself, your partner or an ex is no way to get over the pain of an aching heart. While you’re pointing your finger, either at yourself or another, you’re wasting precious valuable energy hating. What does hating give you? More PAIN and moves you further away from authentic loving.
Why not spend your energy; forgiving yourself or them and healing and moving on? If someone did something to you that was hurtful, I can guarantee you that it’s not as personal as you might believe. A kind person is typically kind, a loving person is loving, a moody person is moody, an angry person is angry – the way someone treats someone says more about them than it does you. Never forget this.
Most people don’t set out to hurt people, and if they do, then why would you want to be with that person? How is that love?
So don’t blame, don’t condone, just make healthy love choices.
- Unhook Yourself
Have you ever dated someone or been in a relationship with someone who you knew deep down was/is no good for you?
Did you ever think that maybe you got hooked? In my program Never Lose Him I talk about how we can easily fall in love with someone’s potential or we get hooked to something we like, though this “something” is ultimately unfulfilling.
So what are the most common hooks?
- Some people love the way someone’s looks. Even if their personality or character is incompatible with them they’ll still be physically hooked.
- The sexual connection is amazing so they get sexually hooked. Enough said.
- Women in particular can get hooked to money, security or lifestyle. They’ll stay with someone even if they’re not happy with this person because of what that person offers financially or sometimes it can be social/career opportunity hooks (of course men do this too).
- The 10% hook. Many people get hooked to the way they feel around someone once in while. This is why it’s so painful. You know how loving the object of your affection can be sometimes, so you hold on for dear life in the hope of getting another glimpse, another fix of Mr. Romantic or Mr. Sexy, when most of the time he’s Mr. Absent or Mr. Bad Boy.
It you want to be happy in love and free of pain and unnecessary drama then unhook yourself from the things that don’t bring you joy. Attachment is never healthy, so get real and honest and cut those unhealthy cords.
Maybe it’s time to stop free falling, pull the cord on your parachute, and steer yourself to a more loving (and self-loving) and solid place to land.
Remember, no blaming, just graceful healthy loving!
- Get Sexy with Life
Relationships can consume us. Relationships can have us losing our sense of self, and heartbreak can take the wind out of our sails…
The best thing to do is to know how to put the wind back into your very own sails, and a really, really good way to do this is to get sexy.
If you’re imagination took you straight to sexy lingerie and seduction, then sure, that’s all well and good, though this is not the kind of sexy I’m referring to, well not exactly…
Nothing feels better than getting sexy with life in general. Flirting with life is one of those things most people don’t do enough of.
So what does it mean to get sexy or flirt with life?
The truth is there is an infinite amount of ways to do this, for example:
– The way you eat a piece of fruit or a meal can be done with more presence and joy.
– Talking to a friend can be done from a more sensual and sexy place. So can dancing, singing, laughing, writing, cleaning, dressing and doing your makeup.
How can you be more passionate and more appreciative about everything you do?
Getting sexy with life is not so much about trying to be sexy, in fact, that’s not sexy. Trying to be sexy never works. Nor do you need to pout and pose while you’re walking around the grocery store doing the shopping!
Here are some more ways you can be more playful, sexy and sensual:
If your walking around the grocery store instead of seeing it as a chore you can choose to see it as a lovely way to buy healthy food to nourish your body and love you. That’s sexy.
If you’re chatting to a friend and you often over talk and don’t listen or you tend to say very little, then do the opposite. That’s getting sexy with communication.
Say you meet a guy at a bar – you can worry about what he thinks or make up a story in your mind that men never treat you right, or you can be present and enjoy chatting and getting to know someone without expectation. That’s sexy.
This may sound weird, BUT trust me it works! Get sexy with your life right now.
Everyone can overcome a heavy heart. When you stop living in the past and stop taking things personally then life and love feels lighter and lovelier.
Forgive, free yourself from attachment and flirt with life.
~ Nadine Piat