Are you tired of all the dating tips that tell you to just go and approach a guy and flirt shamelessly? Even the most confident woman can find initiating contact a big step out of their comfort zone. But what about the introverted ladies out there who also deserve a chance at finding love?
Introversion is something that a lot of people confuse with shyness. Though they have a lot in common, being shy doesn’t automatically mean you’re an introvert, and vice versa.
Introverts are people who may enjoy spending time alone, but they also want to have deep, meaningful conversations with other people. They’re not a huge fan of small talk, because they find that it can be emotionally and mentally exhausting. Instead, they choose to talk only to a handful of people who can fulfill their need for a meaningful conversation.
It’s not that introverts are stuck-up or unfriendly, but they genuinely just don’t find the act of approaching a bunch of people or making meaningless small talk appealing at all. This means that their demeanor in public may lead a man to think that they’re not interested, so in turn, they don’t get approached as often as the flirty, outgoing and friendly ladies do.
Now does that perfectly describe your personality? If it does, you’ve come to the right place! Rest assured, you won’t find a single tip here that would tell you to go right up to a guy and start talking.
So what’s an introverted girl to do in a world where there are tons of women who look more approachable or are more likely to approach guys?
1. Go to places you know. It may be hard enough for you to socialize with strangers, but it will be tougher if you’re in a place you’re not familiar with. To lessen the social anxiety, opt to go to places where there are at least a couple of people you know, even if it’s just the bartender.
Knowing that the place you’re in is one you feel safe in may help you relax. This can make it easier for you to exude an aura of confidence. And if things don’t turn out well, you can always count on some familiar faces to bail you out.
2. Have the right body language. You may not be aware of your body language, especially if you’re uncomfortable in a certain environment. But body language spells the difference between a vibe of “approach me” or “back off.” For starters, uncross your arms and sit with your back straight. Crossed arms and/or a hunched back can denote defensiveness or insecurity, and that would make anyone back off. These simple changes in your posture will instantly change the way you feel too.
When you’re in a bar, don’t just face a corner as you stare at your drink twiddle your thumbs. Look up and around you at the people coming and going. You don’t have to make eye contact with them, but showing them your face and your open demeanor can be enough to get a hot guy to approach you.
3. Introversion = mysteriousness. When you get too self-conscious about your introverted nature, keep in mind that your silence, your hesitation to approach people and your aura of aloofness may come across as an air of mystery to other guys. And as you may already know, that air of mystery can be pretty alluring
4. Have a couple of go-to topics. In the event that someone starts talking to you, chances are they’d start off with some small talk, which many introverts really, really dislike. To avoid looking like you’re absolutely ungrateful for their attention, steer the topic in a direction you’re more comfortable with. Have a couple of topics that you enjoy talking about such as movies, food, music or even something esoteric like Renaissance nobility. The guy you’re talking to may be so used to girl who likes to talk about the usual first conversation stuff that he’ll be thrilled to find someone who immediately shows substance in the first conversation!
Dating doesn’t have to feel like a battlefield, where you’re fighting it out with women who are friendlier and bubblier than you. Instead, you can use your quiet charm to your advantage, and eventually find a guy who’s willing to take a risk with that shy and seemingly aloof girl by the bar.