Hit the mark in your love life by doing these things
Every human being needs regular interaction with other humans to thrive. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, the fact remains – we’re all social beings. This is why having some powerful relationship guidelines up your sleave will give you the edge you need to cultivate a heart-fluttering and soul-connected level of intimacy.
And why would you want a soulful kind of connection? Because to truly thrive in life; we need meaningful interactions to enhance our existence.
Following are a list of relationship rules or must do’s that will determine whether you feel an unshakable feeling of certainty and true affection for your partner, or more often than not, you’re pulling your hair out, mostly unhappy, and wondering why you’re with this person at all.
Now I know the word “rules” doesn’t sound very sexy, though in life there are certain things that just work and make the difference, and once followed can transform your life…
This means if you’re struggling and tired of not quite hitting the mark then here are 6 healthy relationship rules.
Who needs unhealthy ones, right?
#1 Respect each other
Respect is something that you can never take for granted. We’ve all heard that you should earn respect, that it doesn’t happen automatically, and this is true: you and your partner learn to respect each other as you get closer and your relationship evolves.
But sometimes, as time goes by, many of us start taking their partner for granted and let me tell you, this is the opposite of respect. So, what is respect?
Because respect can mean different things to different people, it’s important to learn each other’s idea of what respect looks and feels like to them. Learning to be mindful of your partner’s needs and interests is a good start, particularly if they’re different to yours. It’s being able to appreciate him for the person he is, not try to change him into some imaginary Mr. Perfect.
#2 Don’t Be A Clam – Open UP!
Being able to communicate your needs openly, without holding back because you’re worried he won’t understand is just as vital a relationship rule as respect. This could sometimes be difficult if you have suppressed your needs before for fear of pushing a partner away but it is crucial.
You see, nobody is a mind reader, much as we would like them to be. Men like to hear it straight, the good and the bad. So no talking in circles or hinting your needs – express yourself clearly. There’s more than one benefit in this rule: when you are open about your needs, you’ll encourage him to be too.
Also, don’t confuse nagging for healthy communication. Most people are not receptive to whinging and whining, instead, find a good time to properly discuss your true feelings.
The more open you are to each other, the better you start to understand each other’s needs and this will bring you closer, deepening your bond.
#3 The honest way is the best way
You might think that being open and being honest is the same thing. Relationship guidelines put forward by experts say they are not. You may be open to communicate but you might not always be honest. You may be honest but you might keep most of the things troubling you inside instead of sharing them.
So, honesty and openness actually complement each other. Without either of them, real closeness, real intimacy would be impossible. Remember this and keep trying if you find it hard to tell him how you really feel about one thing or another.
Maybe you’re afraid that being honest will lead to an argument? That’s not a problem: the rules of a relationship state that arguing can be one of the healthiest things for two people who love each other.
#4 Feel free to argue
Just as we need relationships to thrive, we have our differences of opinion and sometimes these differences lead to conflicts. Conflicts are not necessarily bad, though. They can actually help nurture a relationship if you handle them right.
Here’s the relationship rule in its simplest form: it’s not the argument that can sink your ship, it’s how you argue.
When we’re agitated or hurt, we often find it simpler to insult the one who’s hurt us. But insults will only make things worse. Nobody wins when a discussion becomes a battle of egos, rather than a mindful and proactive interaction. Name calling, blaming and shaming won’t resolve the conflict, it will do exactly the opposite, it will move you further apart from each other.
Proactive arguments, on the other hand, will bring you closer together. How? By letting you see his perspective and letting him see yours. Navigating the dangerous waters of an argument with your loved one can be tough, so here’s how you can find your way around the rocks: by listening.
#5 Just listen
Listening is a skill we often ignore and that’s a pity because it’s such an important one. Hearing the words he says is not enough. It takes active listening, mindful listening to get beyond the words and really understand what he means when you talk to each other.
Learning to listen is one of the best kinds of relationship help you could ever get, especially in times of conflict. You see, it’s too easy to shut your ears and just pour all your resentment out. It’s just as easy for him. You will most likely end up even more bitter than before — only because you both chose to hear only yourself and not the other one.
So, instead, when you run into a problem with your man, stop yourself from attacking him because you felt hurt or neglected or whatever it was that made you angry and sad. Listen to what he has to say and teach him to listen, too. So many relationships could be saved if only the partners listened to each other.
#6 Remember fun? Have some!
My final relationship rule for women is the best one of them all. We sometimes get so bogged down in all the problems in our relationship that we forget one of the most important things: love is about pleasure, it’s about having fun together.
Express your love to each other — hug him every time you feel like it and let him kiss you, even if you’re super busy. Do silly things together, things that you’ve never done before or certainly not for a long time. Discover new sides to each other! Make fun of yourself too. Nothing is more endearing than seeing parts of yourself that are perhaps a little serious and adding some levity to your not so perfect self.
True love, you know, is not always a picnic but picnics should have their place in it. Don’t be lazy in love. Make the effort to cement these 6 guidelines for lasting desire.
The distance between an unhappy or a happy relationship is generally not huge! All it takes are a few changes and you can find yourself in a relationship that stands the test of time, a relationship that has you waking up every day feeling loved and appreciated.