Recently I was out with a group of girlfriends who I hadn’t seen in a little while. We met up at a popular wine bar and we were having a great time catching. That evening my single girlfriend’s were complaining to me that they never meet men, and as the evening progressed it became crystal clear that they were in dire need of some flirting tips!
So here we were at a bustling inner city venue where a lot of men frequent, in fact, it’s one of those places where there are more men than women, though I noticed that none of my single girlfriends were communicating with any of the men.
No eye contact, no smiles, no striking up conversation…no FLIRTING!
It was as though they were waiting for men to come over to a big group of women and say hello. They were waiting, waiting, waiting!
Not one of the girls broke free from our “pack”, and these smart, lovely women were wondering why they never meet anyone!?!
Finding a man and keeping a man is pretty simple when you know how to engage and catch a man’s attention, and even though there are a variety of crucial elements that make for a healthy and passionate relationship, one thing every woman must learn to do is FLIRT!
Single women forget to flirt and so do women in a relationship (with their partners)…
Firstly, very woman must get over the notion that a man must make the first move. Contrary to this popular and misguided belief, women making the first move is something most men encourage… therefore as a whole, women approaching and flirting should be embraced! So, GO FOR IT!
When meeting new men, it’s more important HOW you flirt, and to flirt well it’s important to know your intention or desired outcome.
Flirting Tips for Single Women:
If you’re wondering why you’re not meeting good men or you’re not sure why you’ve not managed to keep a the “right” guy interested then the following will help:
If you’re interested in finding your “special” man, for a long-term relationship then flirt in a way that’s playful and good-humored, not sexual and provocative.
Flirting with a man let’s him know that you’re interested, although as per above it’s important to flirt in a way that sends out the “right” message.
Flirting begins with a look, holding eye contact, and something as simple as a smile is enough for most men to come over and strike up a conversation with you.
After some basic verbal exchange and once a man is showing you interest, you can express that you like something about him – i.e. “wow, did you know you’ve got the best smile?!” or “I love your shirt, great buttons”, or “ you look like you work out, what sport do you play?” This is very different to saying “oh my, you’ve got an amazing chest, l’d love to see you with your shirt off”. Ask yourself your intention – Are you looking for love or fun? Once you’re clear you can then flirt appropriately.
For those new to flirting you can start with small steps. I encourage you to start flirting with the world, yes, the world and with life, and not in a pick-up kind of way! Just start smiling more and talking to people. It will help build up your confidence.
I can talk to anyone anywhere – waiting for a coffee, in a lift, to people at the table next to me at lunch, opportunities are everywhere. It’s amazing who you meet and if you make the effort to do this every day within no time speaking to men will be easy.
Know when to ease up:
Don’t overdo the flirting, and if you’re out with friends then don’t leave your friends forever. Go back to them and if it feels appropriate you can ask the guy to come over and join you when he’s ready.
Also, 80% of the time a man who’s interested in you will ask you for your number. If he asks you to leave with him, he’s either just up for some fun or perhaps you’re flirting style is quite suggestive and sexual, which is fine if you’re up for something casual, if you’re not then it’s time to tweak for flirting style. If you’re looking for love, you can politely decline and suggest to catch up another time (for a proper date). He’ll either jump at the chance or disappear.
Flirting Tips for Attached Women:
Women and men in a relationship can get complacent, they can get caught up on other stuff such as; everyday life, parenting, work, family commitments, too tired, etc. It’s too easy to lose touch and disconnect from the very person you love and dearly value. In a relationship it’s important to build up tension and desire.
Don’t wait for him:
Some women want to be pursued at all times. The reality is; men like to feel wanted too, so don’t always wait for your partner to make the first move! If your man doesn’t persue you at all, and you’ve tried yet nothing seems to get him fired up then it’s time to have a warm, open and heart felt chat about it and work out a solution (or see a professional).
Vary the flirting:
When in a relationship, over time you may become immune to each other’s advances.
You’ve got to change it up. Add more playful banter, tantalise your man, send him cute or “naughty” messages at work, compliment him more or differently, add innuendo, touch more, look into his eye’s more.
If you have children; give him sneaky looks, touch him in a suggestive way when the kids aren’t looking, whisper something naughty into his ear, give me heart melting smiles from across the room, send him a text message asking him to meet you in another room in the house, somewhere private… for a special moment!
Now, this last tip applies to all women, regardless of relationship status… so PAY ATTENTION….
It’s important to flirt from the heart!!!
This is the best kind of flirting. When you flirt from the heart, he won’t think you’re being needy and a man won’t treat you just like a body, you’ll be treated like the woman you are!
So, start flirting with the world… well, just wait, there are some boundaries – I strongly advise against flirting with anyone’s husband or boyfriend. Just don’t do it, ever. Of course attached people flirt, just be careful who you’re giving your energy to. The idea is to find love or improve your relationship, not create unnecessary drama into your life. Invite love in, not complexity.
The truth is, when you communicate from the heart, everyone will feel good around you and want to spend more and more time with you. People will love being in your presence!
The warmth a person radiates from their heart can be intoxicating, and when mixed with a little bit of sexiness, you become magnetic! A heart-centered women is irresistible. It’s that simple. And the best part is, you won’t have to try to flirt too much because you’ll naturally exude gorgeousness.
If you’re really nervous and edgy, or worried about being rejected the chances are you’re not in your heart, you’ll be in your head where; fear, judgment, attachment, expectation, neediness and desperation live.
Let go of expectation and start flirting with grace and finesse!
MORE: Want More Specific Flirting Tips? ** Find some here **