He says, “He DOESN’T Want a Relationship” – What Does That Mean?

He says, “He DOESN’T Want a Relationship” – What Does That Mean?

Please listen carefully and never forget this

When a man says he doesn’t want a relationship it means; HE DOES NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP now or with you… SIMPLE!

A man tells you more about who he is and what he wants in the first two weeks of knowing him than he probably will in the proceeding weeks.  And unfortunately most women do not listen and pay attention to these clear indicators.

To all the broken-hearted women out there who fell for the unavailable man – cry if you need to, grieve him and the fantasy, and then quickly move on to an empowered place of self-love and new love.

It’s time to really get this valuable love lesson, and not only for your emotional wellbeing, this lesson will astronomically move you closer to REAL love, the kind of love that feels really good!

NOT… good, bad, good, terrible, painful, good, painful… that’s not how love is supposed to feel.

he doesn t want a relationship

To make this all the more confusing; some men treat women well in general, even the women they sleep with yet don’t see a future with.  Most women assume that because he’s nice to her that he may want something more after all.

A good guy will tell you if he only wants something casual – what you do with that information is the difference between – frustration and hurt AND finding real commitment and love.

Women make a huge mistake by thinking one or more of the following:

  • He’ll change his mind once he spends more time with me
  • If the sex is good enough and I please him enough he’ll commit to me
  • He’ll be ready for a relationship soon and I’ll be right here, cause I’m kind of like his girlfriend anyway
  • He’s so nice to me it must mean he likes me

The moment a guy tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, although he likes you enough to “hang out”, BUT not interested in anything serious is the moment that defines all…

Why would a healthy minded, high value, gorgeous woman hang out with a man when he doesn’t want a relationship, WHEN SHE DOES?

Sometimes the guy you’re spending time with may really like you, although the timing is terrible; he’s just broken up with someone and/or is still emotionally attached.  Some men won’t feel ready for commitment when certain areas of their life are not as they would like it to be, such as; not happy with his career, lost his job, not divorced yet, doesn’t feel as though he’s financial successful enough for something serious, etc.

It’s still the same thing – he doesn’t feel ready, therefore he does not want a committed relationship right now. Sure, he may want to spend time with you, though it will be on his terms.

Here are my tips for you:

  1. Thank him for being upfront and honest
  2. Decide if you want something casual or not
  3. If you’re open to something casual you must know that that’s what it is.  Casual. Nothing more.
  4. If not, be his friend only.  Do not sleep with him.  If he wants you in his life he needs to sort himself out.
  5. Have NO expectations.  He may never sort himself or be ready.
  6. Do NOT fantasize what it be like to be with him – he could be a terrible partner, so do not make up a story of how amazing he is.  You don’t know that.  Which leads to my next point…
  7. You have your own life and catch up with him when it suits you only, he is NOT your priority
  8. Date other men and do this properly, as your priority. Be OPEN to someone who’s ready for a relationship.
  9. If you cannot spend time with him without having a strong yearning to be with him, or deep down you’re hoping that he’ll change his mind, then don’t see him or speak to him at all.  Women make a regular habit of torturing themselves.  Do not see him.  Move on. You have to trust that if he’s right for you, he will sort himself out and pursue you later.  Hanging around like a bad smell doesn’t give him space to sort himself out.  You’re still there HANGING ON to whatever he’ll give you.

The man worth your time is a man you feel emotionally and physically safe around.  We all know when we don’t feel this, even if we pretend or make excuses, we know!  (*Side note – this applies to men with women too)

A man who’s interested in a relationship with you will:

  • Be happy to wait a while before having sex
  • Wants to see you during the day, not just at night (or not just for a quickie)
  • You may not have sex every time you see him (it’s not all about sex)
  • He will want to see you on Friday and/or Saturday nights  (before 9pm!)
  • After a few months he wants you to meet his friends and family
  • He’ll talk about what you can do together in the future
  • He’ll introduce you as his girlfriend (not as a “friend”)

So to all of the wonderful women who have fallen for Mr. Non-Commital, the lesson is; listen and hear what he has said, pay attention to his actions, and when you know something isn’t feeling quite right then it probably isn’t.

Be strong enough to walk away from someone who doesn’t want the same things as you, and do so earlier rather than later.

You’re better off single and available for the right guy, not the guy who you want to be the right guy.

Nadine x

MORE: If you’re ready to meet the right guy and you want to make sure you NEVER again get hooked to Mr. Wrong then this will make sure you never suffer from unnecessary heartache again =>  Get the love you want and deserve

Nadine Piat

Nadine is a Professional Coach, Writer, Speaker and the Founder of Healthy You Healthy Love. Nadine's mission is to inspire women to live a life full of love and inner peace!


  • Rishita
    November 27, 2016 5:33 am

    Very true…. And unknowingly I did the same and I am happy that I did..

  • gabriela
    December 1, 2016 8:53 pm

    ok, I am really confused… because I don’t want all those things on the commitment list:

    I don’t want to wait before having sex
    I don’t want to see him during the day could be just for a quickie, yep do somethings in the day could be nice, but is not suffering if it doesn’t
    yep – You may not have sex every time you see him (it’s not all about sex)
    I don’t care when he wants to see me… I only care if there’s a frequency… I don’t want to be too close and not too apart
    I really don’t care about meeting his friends and family… not now, and i don’t want to introduce him to anyone.
    the only talk i want to have about the future is if we are going to some trip, or watch that serie together
    I don’t care if people know about us or doesn’t and I like to be free to meet and go out with other people, i don’t want to post it on facebook, I just like to be with him… is that a commitment? is that casual?

    • Nadine Piat
      March 1, 2017 11:09 pm

      Hi Gabriela – I am so sorry for the delay in getting back to you. From what you shared that sounds to me like you’re in a casual relationship. You’ve committed to spend time with him but it’s on your terms, so it’s not a committed relationship as far as including him in your life in the big picture.

  • victoria
    December 2, 2016 1:50 am

    this article has been written so simlple and so on point.it was like a summery of everything.its hard for women to look at men objectively.and the thing is when were not really satisfied we cant pretend it.men simply see the whole picture and don think!i wonder how they avoid thinking.they sleep with so many women but they dont feel bad abour it they feel sarisfied ans proud.why arent we like this?? why dont we feel proud to have sex and then dont even care!!! then they call us slut ??

  • Fiona
    July 20, 2017 5:10 am

    If he says he doesn’t want a relationship and wants to remain ‘friends’, but acts as if he is in one with you whenever he’s with you…And whenever we are together we always end up getting physical. I’m definitely not one for a casual relationship normally, but I definitely have feelings for this guy. But there’s also no commitment for him to talk to me throughout the day (and he doesn’t often) or even properly care about me. I know I want a relationship with him, is it wrong to keep waiting and hoping?

    • Nadine Piat
      July 22, 2017 11:55 am

      Hi Fiona, I can’t tell you what to do, though what I do know is that when he calls you “friends” then he’s not committing. He doesn’t have to commit because he still gets you… and sex… without it. So if you want a relationship then you have to know what you deserve and be clear to yourself about it and perhaps to him. But this is not about him, this is about you and you honouring what you value. Some men are so lovely, even when they’re not committing, as per my article, and this can really mess with your emotions. If you want someone to wholeheartedly care about you and reach out to regularly, and a man who wants to openly date you and be in a relationship with you, then you have to ask yourself – is the way you are going about your love life right now going to give you what you want? A truly loving and devoted commitment?

  • Cristina Stanley
    July 25, 2017 4:06 am

    There is a difference in saying you don’t want a relationship versus you don’t want a relationship with them. I have dated a guy that I knew that we were better off friends and told him that and now we are the best of friends. I moved on started dating someone I was attracted to and I wanted a relationship with him, in both cases, I still wanted a relationship, but the first guy I just wasn’t attracted to and thought I would get over it or being shallow but I didn’t started dating someone else. So both of those phrases are not mutually exclusive.

    • Nadine Piat
      July 25, 2017 4:18 am

      Hi Christina, this is very true. Some people will say that they’re not looking for a relationship when in fact they’re just not attracted to you in that way. In this article I was referring to women getting hooked to men who are not interested in a relationship for whatever reason – lack of attraction, sees no future, not in a good place. In my opinion, it normally doesn’t really matter the reason why. If they’re not making you one of their main priorities, when you know you want a relationship, then it’s not working, unless one is TRULY happy to be in a “friends with benefits” situation. To comment further on your perspective – getting attached to someone who’s just not interested in you in a romantic sense, though happy to be friends is not a bad thing, as long as you can accept that it’s platonic. Some people can make this work, some cannot. I have a number of fabulous males friends who are JUST friends, though some of these relationships were challenging early on, though once the friendship was clearly the only thing on the table, a friendship became legitimate.

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