Have you ever wondered if a deeply loving relationship can exist without emotional intimacy? If you have, I’m sure you’ve come to the conclusion that it can’t.
Emotional bonding is what distinguishes casual from serious relationships, or an unfulfilling one to a fulfilling one, there’s hardly any question about this. We tend to feel closer to people with whom we can connect emotionally to. Yet, it seems developing this kind of connection with a man is not always a simple matter, and sometimes after some disappointing dating experience, you’re left wondering “What went wrong?”
First of all, let’s debunk the myth that men love with their eyes. They don’t. Initially they get attracted to women visually but, let’s be honest, we also get initially attracted to men based on what we see. And it’s not just about appearance, it’s about how someone smiles, how someone talks or smells, even. Physical attraction can be instant. Emotional attraction tends to take longer to take root and flower.
So how can you inspire a more emotional connection with a man?
You only need to remember a few things that will allow you to connect with a man on an emotional level and these things will help you work on deepening your connection. Here they are in a nutshell:
- Overcome insecurities
- Be positive
- Be patient
- Be present
At first glance emotional intimacy may sound like something that’s very easy to do. Then, when you think about it, you’ll find it takes some effort, but I can tell you it’s all possible and well worth it if you want lasting love.
Let’s delve into these one by one…
1. Conquer your insecurities
It’s difficult to imagine a person who has no insecurities whatsoever. We can be complex creatures, each and everyone with our own fears, desires, and dreams. Sometimes we let the fears take the upper hand and this makes us insecure in certain situations. The beginning of a relationship is certainly a time that can spark our fears, a big one being the fear of rejection. And when we fearful, worried or self-doubting it’s next to impossible to emotionally connect with another.
How do you deal with this?
Self-belief is the answer because when you become your very own cheerleader you take pressure off the situation, which then allows both of you to feel more relaxed and connected. When you feel that you need a guy to like you for you to feel more confident and worthy of love, then this creates pressure and expectation.
The reality is, there are two ways a budding relationship can go: it will either turn into a long-term one or die a natural death. By accepting the probability of the latter you will most likely improve the likelihood of the former happening.
Why? Because acceptance will make you less stressed and more confident. It’s just how these things work: you accept possible disappointment and tell yourself that life won’t end with it. This brings peace to your mind. Insecurity breeds stress, on the other hand, self-belief and self-love reduces stress, that’s why confidence and self-worth are essential ingredients for emotional love.
2. Love your life and show positivity…
So, let’s say you’ve worked on your insecurities and you feel you’ve conquered your fear of rejection, this will automatically make you more positive and men love positivism.
A lot of relationship advice for women involves calls for being more positive, for adopting a sunnier outlook. Some people would even say that the trouble with us women is that we often get emotional and they don’t mean it as a compliment.
We’re known to read too much into little gestures or we rush to conclusions, or have a nervous breakdown every time things don’t go as we want them to. This is, of course, an overgeneralization (or not), but it’s a fact that people, men and women alike, have a tendency to focus on the negative more than on the positive. This probably has to do with our survival instinct but it’s not helpful when it comes to developing loving relationships based on emotional attachment.
Just being aware of this tendency can help you a lot. It will make you stop and think before you jump to a conclusion, it will help you walk to it instead of jumping, and this patience will make you more attractive for your man.
3. Why is patience so important?
Because men don’t like to be rushed into relationships. Neither do you, right? It means you realize that the best things in life take time to happen. It means you are smart enough and care enough to wait and work on a relationship to make it happen, because you know how precious it can be.
Emotional intimacy with another human being is one of the best things we can hope for in life. It’s something worth waiting for and working on, so your patience will pay off wonderfully if you can master it. And I’m sure you can. Just ask yourself: isn’t it better to wait and see what happens next instead of breaking off a new relationship the first second he does something you don’t like?
4. Be present and in your body…
The last piece of advice I could give you may seem like the easiest, though it seems to be one of the most tricky of them all and that is to be present and in your body.
Be there, that’s all.
When you’re together, be 100% with him and in the present moment. Talk and listen to him when he talks, share your thoughts, feelings and experiences and sympathize when he’s sharing a problem, tell jokes and laugh at his. But be natural, don’t overdo it as overdoing it will, as usual, backfire.
Being present can only happen when you move from your head and into your heart. When you’re in your heart he will be able to feel you, and men love the warmth of the feminine soul, and this is imperative if you want connect on a deeper level with a man.
When you’re in your head you are more likely to live in the past and/or the future, which is a sure fire way to come across as distracted, controlling, needy or stressed in some way…
Being present is near impossible when your mind is wandering elsewhere. Sure, it’s important to be able to use your mind – sometimes it’s necessary to reflect, particularly if you want to change the way you date and relate with men, and it’s also important to be in your body and connected to the person in front of you.
These four points are extremely effective and will not only help you attract the man you want, they’ll help you be more connected emotionally with people in general. When we are connected to ourselves we can then allow others to connect with us.
When we are confident, accepting of our life, when we show patience and are grounded, we then become magnetic.