Looking for love? Or just looking for a date? When you’ve run out of options in your local neighborhood or social scene, then many people these days turn to online dating. So how can you find Mr. or Miss Right out of all the options that are available? Here’s some dating advice for the internet age.
It goes without saying that you need to be very cautious when meeting people on line. It’s a great idea to find reputable online companies who will help find you a date rather than just lurk around chat rooms hoping to strike it lucky. Some companies will do extensive background checks, obviously these are going to cost you more to join, but might well be worth it.
Predominantly, people are very oriented towards appearance, and that’s natural. However, looks aren’t everything, so don’t just look for eye candy when reviewing possible dates, dig in and try to see what the personality behind the picture is like. Check out basic things like common interests, and look for the more off beat interests – after all, most people like movies and eating out. You don’t need an exact match of interests, but things that are similar. For example, if you like kayaking, you might get on well with someone who likes hiking or sailing.
Before you meet someone, it’s important to exchange at least three photographs. As I said it’s not all about the physical, although multiple photos will more accurately reveal who you and they are. Use photos which are flattering and also realistic. Check out the photos you receive – casual shots are more likely to be more true than studio portraits. Also try to establish that the picture is current.
I recommend spending little time emailing, about 3-5 emails, then swiftly move to a phone conversation or two. If you like what you read and hear then meet him, pronto! The more you communicate prior to meeting, the more time you spend creating a fantasy about a stranger. I encourage you to have no expectations and to try really hard at not fabricating an idea of what they will be like in person. You just never really know. While communicating, remember to ask questions, not only does it make you seem like an interesting and caring person, but you will find it easier to figure out what kind of person your potential date is if you get them talking about themselves.
Under no circumstances should you ever send money to a person you’ve met online, no matter how plausible the story. It will be the last you’ll ever see of it.
When you do meet, make sure that it’s in a very public, neutral place and preferably during the day. For example, lunch at busy restaurant. Let a friend know who you are meeting, when and where. I suggest meeting for a coffee or a drink and seeing how you go from there. My advice is to never have more than one drink on the first couple of dates. This will allow you to not only put your best food forward, if will keep you sharp and clear, as alcohol can cloud perception and override your inner knowing. So keep the alcohol to a minimum, or don’t drink at all.
Looking for love and affection is nothing to be ashamed of, so don’t be shy about online dating. Many people have found their love and life mate this way.