Imagine walking into a room and having everyone notice and feel your presence…
Imagine people gravitating towards you, wanting to get to know you, without you having to do anything…
And imagine what it will feel like to get approached by a handsome man you notice standing across the room…
This is what happens when you exude a deep level of core confidence.
You beam with life and love… and you become magnetic.
When you reach this kind of level of self-confidence, you’ll tend to feel on top of world and be at peace with yourself and life. You become a dynamic force to be reckoned with, and life seems to unfold in a way that feels mostly effortless and free.
But, as much as you’re content and happy, are the people around you really liking the attention you’re getting?
Yes… this is the downside…
The downside of being a confident woman is some people will not like this new happier version of you, as they may feel threatened in some way.
Sure, you will have friends, colleagues and family rooting for you, while others may not feel so comfortable with your confidence and the attention you’re receiving, including a significant other.
Some people get caught offside due to jealousy, insecurity and simply not wanting anyone else to “have it better” than them.
If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know I often talk about the importance of confidence and self love in order to form healthy relationships. The reason for this is self-belief is the cornerstone to real connected love, and there are so many great things that come with being sure of yourself and being at peace with your past, present and future.
In life, when you turn your attention to yourself in a healthy proactive way, everything else around you starts to shift too. Whether you’re ready for the ripple effect, like it or not, it’s inevitable, and often things change in unexpected ways.
So the big hairy truth is; even though you might feel bulletproof and on top of the world, there is going to be some backlash from this “new found you”.
Now I want to be clear, I’m not referring to you being cocky – cockiness is not confidence, and anyone who’s cocky or arrogant will have a hard time cultivating healthy relationships, period!
– I’m referring to someone who’s got rid of the incessant niggles of self-doubt.
– I’m referring to someone who knows what’s really important to them, what they value,
and how to nurture these things.
– I’m referring to someone who has healthy boundaries and frees themselves of drama
to allow more harmony into their life.
So, why would someone who’s more confident experience a downside to this empowered state of being?
Let’s look a bit closer at the harsh realities that come with the territory of a truly confident person:
Here Are 3 Common “Consequences” That Come with Being Confident:
- People Won’t Understand it
As much salvation as self-confidence can bring a person in every area of their lives not too many people have mastered the skill. You have those who struggle with low self-esteem and then you have those who are so “full of themselves” it makes no sense.
When you finally start to embark on a new chapter in your life where you’re more confident in who you are, it will confuse those around you.
Unfortunately, people tend to become threatened by what they don’t understand. One minute you’re just like everyone else, and the next you’ve placed yourself on a pedestal. They see your positive energy and your newfound accomplishments and will begin to wish they had it to.
You’ll have those who may talk behind your back, “she thinks she’s better than us.” You will also have those who will try to do whatever they can to steal that power from you. They will speak poorly of you and try to sabotage you at every turn, simply because they don’t understand your new attitude and outlook on yourself.
- Your Social Circle Can Shrink
When you’re in a head space where you value yourself, it will allow you to see life in a different way. Relationships that you once thought were meaningful may prove otherwise. What I’ve come to find is that as my clients boost their self-confidence in a relationship, they end up letting go of a lot of people.
The insecure boyfriend, the “best friend” who spent most of her time putting you down, the coworkers who never thought you’d amount to much… may no longer like or support you.
As you strive to surround yourself with like minded or equally confident people, you will find that your social circle (both personal and professional) will shrink.
Though don’t be too concerned, this is the perfect time to meet new people who are more similarly aligned to your life vision and level of emotional intelligence.
- You’ll May Be Alone a Lot (for a while)
When you’ve started to see yourself and your ability to conquer life in a different way, you’ll find that there’s a lot more time to be alone. As you work your way towards cultivating more meaningful relationships, there will be periods when you’ll feel that you’re standing on your own.
This is not to say that no one supports or cares for you, it is simply part of the process as you begin to learn more about the new you and your goals in life.
Take this alone time and treasure it. This is a great time in your life to start focusing on you and building upon who you are now. Try new hobbies, cultivate new friendships, go out on dates with different types of men, and whatever other things you feel would help you in discovering this bold and beautiful new you.
You may be looking at these three “downsides” to building self-confidence in a relationship and wondering if this is what you really want? Only you can answer that. It comes down to you honoring your core values and creating an abundant life.
AND the truth is…. it’s not really a disadvantage for you. How could it be, when you’re living your truth, expanding your life in new ways, and staying away from the things that no longer serve your bigger picture?
The above three factors come with the territory of learning to love yourself. It may be uncomfortable at first, and you may even contemplate holding on to old ways of being and relationships for fear of being alone, however, trust me when I tell you that self-love will ultimately bring about new relationships that will bring more joy and fulfillment.
Lastly, it’s okay to shine and be bright. Be confident with your confidence!