On your quest to find Mr. Right, you may be running into a bunch of different roadblocks. You may be too busy with your career to spend time looking for the right guy. You might not be getting out there, mingling with potential soul mates. It’s also possible that fate seems to have put you at the bottom of her list, thus never paving the way for you to finally meet the guy of your dreams.
All these scenarios are possible. But there’s also another reason why Mr. Right isn’t already in your life… you may be unconsciously rejecting him.
Deep in your heart you know that you want to meet Mr. Right, yet you end up dating men that are all wrong for you, or you often reject the ones that WANT YOU. You’re rarely short of reasons to find fault in someone who’s really INTO YOU. Take note that this kind of behavior may not something you’re aware of. In fact, these actions may be due to the ghosts of past relationships that still affect how you act around potential new men in your life.
So what could you be doing to show that you’re the one who’s got commitment issues that keep blocking Mr. Right’s path into your heart?
- Nitpicking the guys you date. Of course, you’re entitled to your standards. But if those standards are too high and unreasonable, you might end up deflecting Mr. Right’s advances before he even gets a chance to truly reveal his loveliness to you. Take a second look at what you’re looking for in a mate. Are they all non-negotiables? If not, which of those traits can you let go of so you can finally open your heart to potential soul mates?
- You refuse to compromise. Many women have been raised to believe that the man of their dreams should be capable of moving heaven and earth just to be with them. But with the advent of modern dating practices, the men whom you insist should put an award worthy, roll-the-red-carpet kind of effort, may look to other women because you’re asking for too much.
- Something’s just a little “off.” It’s true that you should trust your instincts. But just because you have a “funny feeling” about a guy, doesn’t mean you should immediately dump him. When you see legitimate red flags like a wandering eye, a tendency to lie or a penchant for mentioning really sexual things on the first date, you have every right to move on.However, if it’s just a weird feeling that you have that’s convincing you to dump him, do a double take. Could those feelings be fear? Fear of actually getting what you want, such as, real commitment and love? Could those feelings just be jitters because you’ve actually met a man who doesn’t play games and who really sees you and values you? It’s important to not immediately cross a guy off your list unless you have legitimate grounds for doing so.
- You’re too defensive. Yes, heartbreak can take its toll on you, and you can be a little defensive with your emotions, especially after a recent heartbreak. But you have to remember that not all men are the same. The mistakes committed by a guy you dated before won’t necessarily be repeated by a new guy you’re seeing.Once you start to feel like a new guy is some one you can depend on, it may be high time to let your defenses gradually fall down. Open your heart to a new experience. Consider giving your heart to a man who seems to have only the purest of intentions. After all, how can you know if he is indeed Mr. Right when you close your gates and withdraw immediately?
- You’re scared of commitment. The reason why some women find themselves dating incompatible men or men who hurt them is they actually fear commitment themselves. It can seem easier to try to commit to someone who you know won’t commit to you (not wholeheartedly). If you tend to attract the unattainable types, then maybe it’s time to look deeper and see if you’ve got some of your own blocks running.Could it be fear (as mentioned above), could it feelings of lack of worth? Have you ever felt not good enough or not lovable? Maybe you fear that a man will hold you back in life? Maybe you don’t know what you want? If this is the case, this would be a good time to unravel some of the beliefs you have about yourself, love and commitment. When you love you more, you will not date men who won’t commit to you.
Before you can find Mr. Right, you also have to smooth the way for him a bit. I’m not saying you should be a pushover or not have some healthy boundaries in place, though you shouldn’t be trying to emulate the princess that’s hidden away in a tower guarded by a hundred dragons, either!
When you shed these little commitment-phobic habits, you can be sure that your selection for a potential Mr. Right will flourish!