He says, “He DOESN’T Want a Relationship” – What Does That Mean?

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Ladies, women, girls, listen carefully and never forget this…

When a man says he doesn’t want a relationship it means;

HE DOES NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP now or with you… SIMPLE

A man tells you more about who he is and what he wants in the first two weeks of knowing him than he probably will in the proceeding weeks.  And unfortunately most women do not listen and pay attention to these clear indicators.

To all the broken hearted women out there who fell for the unavailable man – cry if you need to, grieve the fantasy, and then quickly move on… to a special and powerful place of self-love and new love.

It’s time to really get this valuable love lesson, and not only for your emotional wellbeing, this lesson will astronomically move you closer to REAL love, love that feels really good!

NOT… good, bad, good, terrible, painful, good, painful… that’s not how love is supposed to feel.

he doesn t want a relationship

LOVE TIP:  PAY ATTENTION to how a man treats you and what he says –  NOT what you WANT to hear or believe.

To make this all the more confusing; some men treat women well in general, even the women they sleep with yet don’t see a future with.  Most women assume that because he’s nice to her that he may want something more after all.

A good guy will tell you if he only wants something casual – what you do with that information is the difference between – frustration and hurt AND finding real commitment and love.

Women make a huge mistake by thinking one or more of the following:

  • He’ll change his mind once he spends more time with me
  • If the sex is good enough and I please him enough he’ll commit to me
  • He’ll be ready for a relationship soon and I’ll be right here, cause I’m kind of like his girlfriend anyway
  • He’s so nice to me it must mean he likes me

The moment a guy tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, although he likes you enough to hang out BUT not interested in anything serious is the moment that defines all…

Why would a healthy minded, high value, gorgeous woman hang out with a man when he doesn’t want a relationship WHEN SHE DOES?

Sometimes the guy really does like you although the timing is terrible, he’s just broken up with someone and/or still emotionally attached.  Some men won’t feel ready for commitment when certain areas of their life are not as they would like it to be, such as; lost his job, not happy with his career, doesn’t feel as though he’s financial successful enough for something serious, etc.  It’s still the same thing – he doesn’t feel ready, therefore he’s not wanting a relationship right now.

Here are my tips for you:

  1. Thank him for being upfront and honest
  2. Decide if you want something casual or not
  3. If you’re open to something casual you must know that that’s what it is.  Casual. Nothing more.
  4. If not, be his friend only.  Do not sleep with him.  If he wants you in his life he needs to sort himself out.
  5. Have NO expectations.  He may never sort himself or be ready.
  6. Do NOT fantasize what it be like to be with him – he could be a terrible partner, so do not make up a story of how amazing he is.  You don’t know that.  Which leads to my next point…
  7. You have your own life and catch up with him when it suits you only, he is NOT your priority
  8. Date other men and do this properly is your priority. Be OPEN to someone who’s ready for a relationship.
  9. If you cannot spend time with him without a strong yearning, then don’t see him at all.  Women make a good habit or torturing themselves.  Do not see him.  Move on.

The man worth your time is a man you will feel good around, safe, secure and appreciated.

A man who’s interested in a relationship with you will:

  • Be happy to wait a while before having sex
  • Wants to see you during the day, not just at night
  • You may not have sex every time you see him (not all about sex)
  • Sees you on Friday and/or Saturday nights
  • Within a couple of months he wants you to meet his friends and family
  • Talks about what you can do together in the future
  • Introduces you as his girlfriend (not “friend”)

So to all of the wonderful women who have fallen for Mr. Non-Commital, the lesson is…

Listen and hear what he has said, pay attention to his actions, and when you know something isn’t feeling quite right then it probably isn’t.

Be strong enough to walk away from someone who isn’t wanting the same things as you, and do so earlier rather than later.

You’re better off single and available for the right guy, not the guy who you want to be the right guy.

Nadine x

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Comments

  1. Profile photo of Sonia M.

    Sonia M.

    May 22, 2013

    Oh, I agree. How many of us have fantasized a fairy tale looking for a knight and shining armor. because of this fantasy we tend to close their mind trying hoping that their men will change their mind and will love them all the way if they will show them their love and give their all though in reality their men never commit to them and just want their company for their physical needs, then in the end they have to experience devastation first before they realized they will never get what they desire to have with the man they love. It’s only later in life that I have found this out and now it might be too late, well, I believe it isn’t too late, but I do think about the opportunities that I might have missed along the way because I was being too fussy.

  2. Profile photo of Rachel

    Rachel

    June 18, 2013

    This applies to women also. I have given myself one year from my divorce before I begin looking for a relationship. The few dates I’ve accepted, the men don’t believe ME when I say I don’t want a relationship. I kindly explain I’m healing myself, studying where I went wrong and how to improve myself before moving onto a relationship. I’m clear and upfront with them when accepting the date so there is no surprise but they too don’t listen. I think this is human nature.

    Saludos

  3. Profile photo of Jasmine Ava

    Jasmine Ava

    July 5, 2013

    That’ true Nadine. If he is not ready for a relationship or is not there for you, then he is not worthy your time and doesn’t deserve you. Make an informed decision as a woman and get on quickly because you have other things to do. On the way, you will meet the person who deserves your heart. l do believe deeply in my heart that God has chosen a right pair for each and everyone of us.

  4. Profile photo of Emily Sienna

    Emily Sienna

    July 9, 2013

    Hi Nadine,

    Precisely put, if he doesn’t want a relationship with you, then he isn’t into you and you should leave him alone and move on, one day you will meet that person who deserves your heart.’Please don’t waste your precious time revolving around him and expecting him to change, if not now he won’t change in the foreseeable future.

  5. Profile photo of Julie Parra

    Julie Parra

    October 9, 2013

    This is such a well put article! I completely agree. Us women fantasize way too much. And like many, I make myself believe that if I stick around anyway knowing that he doesn’t want a relationship, and I spend time with him he will get used to me and want to be in a relationship. However, this is a terrible idea because it only makes us get more attached and it’s so much harder to move on.

    • Profile photo of Nadine Piat

      Nadine Piat

      December 10, 2013

      Julie thank you and you’re so right… emotionally attaching ourselves to an unavailable man is crazy and painful… it doesn’t feel safe, it doesn’t feel fulfilling… it feels like somethin’ and nothin’ all mixed together…

      And it is “somethin'”… it’s a casual relationship… it’s a going nowhere connection… so it’s “nothin'”

      Very few of these types of connections evolve into something more. I have seen it happen although most often both people were very clear that it was casual… neither one wanted anything more at that time and over time it became something serious. Both people were on the same page!

  6. Profile photo of Christalyn Pagente

    Christalyn Pagente

    October 18, 2013

    Yes, this is much very true. Girls tend not to listen and like to hear what she wanted to hear and it usually hurts her. It’s always been this way, that’s why women always think they get broken heart. We assume too much. It’s now time to listen then move on.

  7. Profile photo of Raven

    Raven

    December 15, 2013

    You know what Nadine? I think that women are masochists.

    And maybe not totally a woman’s fault she is one. My theory is that society has depicted women as long-suffering, resilient, the person responsible in ensuring that all pieces of the puzzle gel together. Another trait that society has imposed upon women to picture her as someone desirable is that she should be patient and kind…can do pretzel-like positions when it comes to sex, knit sweaters, a great cook, carry the baby on her right while she irons clothes with her left. And if she has an extra arm, give her lover a sensual massage and coo sweet words in his ears. :D

    Seriously, at the very heart of her heart, I think a woman knows what the real deal is. It is the sad denial of the real truth and believing in what she thought she wants to happen that makes it complicated for most women to step out of a relationship that is obviously going nowhere.
    I think women are so enamoured with the idea of ‘happily ever after’ and anyone resembling a knight with armour even if it is a rusty one is a potential Prince Charming.

    So despite the obvious and having to suffer from pain and low self-esteem, women tend to turn a blind eye . And at night when all the lights are out and everything is still she would perhaps say a softly spoken prayer that tomorrow is a new day; that tomorrow brings hope and promise…Maybe tomorrow will bring changes.

    I know I am a bit sarcastic but I find this the harsh truth. How many times have women faced situations when she is not happy, when her security is threatened, when her worth as a person is being demolished? And in each situation how many women ran for dear life at the very first sign?

    So I think despite knowing it’s time to move on, women would often times stall, hesitate…until she finds herself in a rut too difficult for her to escape…

    On the other side of the spectrum – the female sex is the most courageous. Because just when everyone thinks that she is sucked down the drain, she rises and fights back.

    I like what Nadine said – “Be strong enough to walk away from someone who isn’t wanting the same things as you, and do so earlier rather than later…You’re better off single and available for the right guy, not the guy who you want to be the right guy.”

  8. Profile photo of CINDY ANDREWS

    CINDY ANDREWS

    January 17, 2014

    I am really short of words, can’t finally believe i got my boyfriend back this is my testimony about the man that brought back my man Nadine, she gave me the heart and confident to trust in him within the period of 3 days right now we are living happily and getting very ready and set for our wedding, i am so much happy knowing full well there are real, true spell casters who can really make things happen within the shortest possible time.

  9. Profile photo of Nisha Polk

    Nisha Polk

    April 8, 2014

    Wow, this article is so on point!! I wish I would of seen it several months ago, it would of saved me a lot of heart ache!!

  10. Profile photo of Arienne Nair

    Arienne Nair

    December 17, 2014

    I today ended a situation with a man-boy (he’s in his 40’s) who was very clear that he didn’t want a relationship and yet he kept acting as if he did. Its been going on since October. It wasn’t until today that I had the strength to actually end it and cut off all contact. We were talking nearly everyday and became close or so I thought. It was my fault for not taking what he said in the beginning seriously when he said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone. I cannot just be friends after all this so I decided to cut off all contact. His response was interesting, when I told he that I was blocking him his response was that’s pretty extreme. Extreme! The idea that I would hang around waiting was laughable.

    • Profile photo of Nadine Piat

      Nadine Piat

      January 3, 2015

      Hi Arienne, How are you going since you wrote your posts? Are you still keeping away from the man who didn’t want a relationship? It’s so important to have healthy boundaries and if he really wants something more serious and committed, he’ll turn things around and want to date you and on your turns. Most importantly you must not go against your boundaries, otherwise he won’t respect them. Also, please don’t take his actions/choices personally, stay true to you, believe in you and you will experience the love you truly desire.

      Also, please don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s okay. You’ve learnt something valuable along the way. You now know what it feels like and you have more of an idea how to navigate this situation if something like this happens again.

  11. Profile photo of Arienne Nair

    Arienne Nair

    December 17, 2014

    Sorry for all the typo’s. Nadine, you and Raven and Christine are so very on point on the matter. It is still painful but this is all my doing so I have no one to blame but myself.

  12. Profile photo of Denise

    Denise

    January 24, 2015

    I’m glad I stumbled onto this article. I’m facing this situation and it pains me everyday. He doesn’t want a relationship, just sex. I’d love to make it casual with him but this making love but not being in a relationship thing is driving me nuts. I feel sexually attracted to someone if I like him as well, but I can’t seem to separate love and sex.

    A huge part of me wants to carry on with him. I cannot bring myself to stop all contact with him and move on.

    • Profile photo of Nadine Piat

      Nadine Piat

      January 28, 2015

      Hi Denise, You’re not the only woman who finds it difficult to separate love and sex. There are plenty of men who aren’t so good at this either, particularly men over 30 or 35. Sometimes when a woman walks away form a sexual relationship the other person can decide that they do want MORE than just sex with them, though to be honest that’s rare. If you want love then love you’ve got to love you more than you want him to love you. Does that make sense?

      While your spending time with this guy, hoping that he’ll finally come around and see how amazing you are, you’re hurting your chance of finding REAL LOVE. I recently wrote a book about woman and orgasmic pleasure and in one part of the book I share about how strongly linked female pleasure is to feeling safe and secure with our partner/lover. If we don’t feel emotionally supported, or if we want more and a man’s not giving this to us, then it stops sex from feeling really, really good (we can feel worse).

      I hope that you have the courage to be honest with yourself and to authentic in what you truly want (and deserve).

  13. Profile photo of Brenda Bee

    Brenda Bee

    February 16, 2015

    Thank You Nadine. I was having a hard time dealing with exactly what this article was about. I’ve made it pretty clear to the guy I am seeing that I wanted more than hair sex. He said “he wasn’t trying to rush things.” He’s 30 yrs old and hasn’t had a gf for 6 yrs. In my mind I’m thinking that we talk everyday, we are intimate, we hang out…it’s basically a relationship! He then told me recently “he wasn’t ready for a relationship. That he still wanted to get to know me because I was a great girl with great qualities. That if I wanted to cut the sex out that we could.” He also throws me off by saying “we are making love”, “I love you when we are making love.” But thanks to your article I feel I know what I have to do now.

    • Profile photo of Nadine Piat

      Nadine Piat

      February 21, 2015

      Hi Brenda,

      Sorry, was the article not clear to you. Please let me why it was confusing. In the article I do say that this situation can be confusing because some guys are really nice and loving.

      Your guy has said that he’s not looking for a relationship – you are though, with him. He’s not on the same page, he’s confused… so you are the one who cannot be confused. Someone has to break the confusing cycle. Whatever you do do it with grace and clarity… from a self-loving place.

      He could love you and still be confused about what he wants. That’s still not a healthy place for you to be in and while you’re there taking whatever he will give you he doesn’t have to step up.

      What would you tell a good friend to do?

      If you do draw a line in the sand be prepared for him to start wanting you more… it’s human nature and it’s not just men who do this. Know that this does not mean that he wants MORE or a relationship with you. If he does come back then date, take your time, no sex – not until it feels like there is real commitment, not until it feels CONSISTENTLY different.

      Much Love,
      Nadine

  14. Profile photo of Katherine

    Katherine

    March 1, 2015

    I’ve been dating a guy off and on for a year. We broke up in October when we both weren’t sure where it was going. He is from England and here on a work visa and is now a permanent resident but has just not been sure if he’s moving back to England. We decided to break up because we just weren’t sure how we felt and we were both holding back because we’ve both been scorched in past relationships. I had been dating other people over the summer and stopped dating others around August or September when I realized I just wanted to be with him. But he didn’t feel that he could commit to a relationship because he was confused about the country thing so we decided to end it before we got into deep.

    Fast forward to November and we started hanging out again and we realized we just wanted to be in the moment with each other and we both realized the repercussions of dating someone who wasn’t the same nationality. I assumed when we started up again we realized that we meant something to each other more than we had realized before.

    Things have been going great and we’re getting closer but I have just been thrown for a loop again when now he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship and that he wants his freedom… and he didn’t mention anything about the country. But he did agree to be exclusive with me. He just feels uncomfortable saying it’s a relationship. We talk every day and see each other a few times a week and he wants to take a trip when its warmer. It’s very confusing and I don’t know if this is just him freaking out because he has abandonment issues. Which he does his dad was not really around much growing up and he’s had a bad childhood. But something doesn’t feel right. we have a great time together and have a lot of laughs and we both care about each other quite a bit.

    I don’t know if it’s worth waiting to see if he starts feeling better here in the states or really if it’s not about that at all and more that he just doesn’t want a relationship with ME. he dated an American girl right before me and they had a nasty break up when he realized it was getting serious and he broke up with her because he didn’t know if he was staying or not. But he often refers to her as his ex-girlfriend. I don’t know why he would feel comfortable saying that he was in a relationship with her and not with me.

    • Profile photo of Nadine Piat

      Nadine Piat

      March 1, 2015

      Hi Katherine.

      Thank you for writing…

      To answer your concerns: Fortunately he’s telling you where he’s at, and at the same time it’s unfortunate for you as this is not what you want :(

      So you need to check in with your core values and get very clear about what you want.

      It seems you have 4 obvious options.

      1. Thank him for his honesty and end it, which will allow you to meet someone who’s ready for love and commitment.
      2. Thank him for his honesty and be his exclusive sex buddy with NO commitment.
      3. Thank him for his honesty, still be physically involved, and date other men too.
      4. Thank him for his honesty and remain friends with no sex, just friends (NO MATTER WHAT)

      If you’re being honest with yourself about what you really want you’ll then be able to make a clear and self-loving decision about what’s right for you.

      No games. Be authentic.

      Whatever you do, do it gracefully, from your heart.

      Big hugs.

      Love,
      Nadine

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Profile photo of Nadine PiatNadine Piat on He says, “He DOESN’T Want a Relationship” – What Does That Mean?
Hi Katherine. Thank you for writing... To answer your concerns: Fortunately he's telling you where he's at, and at the …
Profile photo of KatherineKatherine on He says, “He DOESN’T Want a Relationship” – What Does That Mean?
I've been dating a guy off and on for a year. We broke up in October when we both weren't …
Profile photo of Nadine PiatNadine Piat on He says, “He DOESN’T Want a Relationship” – What Does That Mean?
Hi Brenda, Sorry, was the article not clear to you. Please let me why it was confusing. …
Profile photo of Brenda BeeBrenda Bee on He says, “He DOESN’T Want a Relationship” – What Does That Mean?
Thank You Nadine. I was having a hard time dealing with exactly what this article was about. I've made it …
Profile photo of Nadine PiatNadine Piat on He says, “He DOESN’T Want a Relationship” – What Does That Mean?
Hi Denise, You're not the only woman who finds it difficult to separate love and sex. There are plenty of …

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